Under the Sunlight
by justlook3
Summary: In a slightly different version of The Librarians universe, Jacob Stone struggles with juggling his new job and being a single parent while keeping his family a secret from his co-workers. Meanwhile, Cassandra Cillian becomes attached to a young boy in the program she volunteers with not realizing the boy is Stone's son.
1. Chapter 1

Jacob Stone had a secret. Well, alright Jacob Stone was a man with many secrets. Unlike his genius, his academic papers and his language skills, this secret wasn't a secret to the folks at home. It was, however, a secret from the people he worked with. He hadn't intended, at first, to keep this a secret. But when he learned that he couldn't trust them any more than he could the rest of the people in his life . . . well his decision was made. His family and friends didn't know about his art historian side and his co-workers didn't know about his personal life. It had been fairly easy for the first months at the Library. They knew he was a private person who was fairly close to his family. So his trips through the Back Door (and thank goodness for that because he wasn't sure when his mouth had opened and said he'd take the job how he was going to swing this) most weekends didn't really go noticed by the team. Or if they had, none of them ever thought to question him.

What his team didn't know was that Stone's family included his ex-wife and their son. Josie had been the perfect girl for Jake Stone, the oil rigger. Not so much for Jacob Stone, the art historian, but that didn't matter in his life. He was stuck in that town and in that life and so he made the best of it with Josie. Never mind that the only place they were actually compatible had been the bedroom. And even that, well deep down Jacob had always yearned for an actual connection with a woman, but his choices had doomed him from ever having that. So he made do with Josie. Which had been fine when she was his girlfriend and she was just someone to pass the time with. Then she got pregnant.

Jacob was not a man who wasn't going to marry his child's mama. So off to a courthouse they went before their son, named Maxwell after Josie's father, was born. It didn't work out. At first, with the baby and all, they'd been too busy and exhausted to realize that they weren't making a connection. Jacob did really want to love her for both of their sakes, it would have been easier all around. But . . . Josie knew he didn't love her. And that's when it got ugly. Luckily the one thing they did agree on was Max. They both poured all the love they didn't have for each other onto him. Therefore, when they decided they'd all be better off ending the marriage, they didn't fight at all over Max. They had joint custody, though Max lived most of the time with his mother. She gave Jacob all the visitation he wanted. Josie was probably the proudest woman he'd ever met, so he had to actually force her to take money from him.

Things though had been troubling Jacob as it got closer to Christmas. His sister had been concerned over Josie's new boyfriend. Jacob knew the guy, wasn't particularly sure he really wanted him around his son. Josie seemed changed too, a little cowed, a little more demanding. But Max was the one Jacob was most concerned about. He seemed timid in the way the child had never been before. Stone couldn't be certain as he knew kids went through phases. But it bothered him.

It had all come to a head at Christmas. He'd been late to arrive due to, well having to save Christmas. Which turned out to actually have been a good thing. He'd found out upon arrival that Josie and Max had moved into Chuck's double wide. Jacob had dropped in unannounced to see Chuck about to hit his son.

That was the end of that. Jacob grabbed Max even as Chuck made excuses. Max had just clung to his father and it was sometime before Stone could leave him at his sister's long enough to come back and have it out with Josie. Chuck had left, probably not wanting to get punched in the face. That actually made Stone even more angry and itching for a fight. He tried not to take it out too much on Josie, guessing rightly that she was being abused.

"I'm takin' him, Josie."

Josie, her eyes wide and fearful, just nodded. He shook his head, "darlin', leave him. Come with us. Right now. I know you and I aren't much for each other, but . . . . Look, I told everyone I moved to Texas, but I just started a new job out West . . .and it would be a fresh start for you. "

She shook her head, tears stinging her eyes. "I ain't never been anywhere but this town, Jake."

"Then change that! You know what this town does to people. That's why I left. Finally. Took most my life, but I left."

"No, I ain't . . .I can't. But take him, Jake. Take him and run. Max is . . .I know there's shit you never told me about you. He's meant to do things that are bigger than this town. Take him away from men like Chuck and your daddy. Please, just take his stuff and go far away. Before he turns out like me. . . . ."

"Chuck is gonna . . . ."

"Nah, he ain't gonna do shit to me tonight about it." She laughed bitterly. "He's scared shitless of you. So he'll think you just bullied me. Sides he don't care about my little brat, anyway." Josie looked years older as she grabbed for a cigarette and Stone's heart broke for her. He never loved her, but he didn't like leaving her here.

"Please Josie, I know we shouldn't have got married . . .but I care about you and I want to help you. Let me this time."

She just shook her head. "Thank you though, Jake. Please, the best thing you can do is take Max. Okay? Tell him, tell him his mama loves him. Okay? Loves him more than anythin'."

"Fine, but if you ever . . . ."

"I'll call ya. Come on, let's get his stuff."

So at the end of his Christmas break, Stone found himself calling Baird and Jenkins and explaining he had some stuff he was moving to Portland, so he was going to rent a truck and road trip back. That was completely a story they understood, given all of their abrupt moves to this new life. Cassandra had flown back to New York to do a similar move from her great-aunt's house to Portland. And it was pretty much the truth, Max had all his clothes and toys plus his sisters had gifted him with various pieces of furniture their own children didn't use any more.

He'd had to tell him he was working out West now, though given the lack of oil in Portland he hadn't been clear on where exactly it was. But they were used to his ways and didn't pry too much.

It had been a very long road trip with a four year old, but Jacob had finally gotten Max settled in his small apartment. Then he'd had a lot of things to think about. Child care was a big one. Obviously he couldn't bring his son to work with him. He wasn't sure who would freak out more, Jenkins or Baird. He hadn't really thought it all through, he'd just taken Max and gone.

He'd managed to call off the Library for a few more days, claiming a nasty cold. The clippings book had been quiet for the duration of the holidays so that was helpful. But as much as Stone loved spending time with his boy, the Library was just as much his home. And he missed it. Kinda missed the others too. They'd grown on him and his walls were starting to go down.

Cassandra would probably be delighted he had a child. And he shut that thought down. He had way too many thoughts he shouldn't have about the redhead. Not long after the case in Boston, he'd come to realize that maybe he'd been too quick to judge her. Desperation made people do crazy things. She'd had all she ever wanted in the palm of her hands and she'd given that up for Flynn. Plus there was that habit of hers of getting under his skin without even really trying. He liked her and she liked him. But friendly co-workers was all that they could ever be.

He'd made his choice and she'd made hers. And his choice was to keep his private life just that. So he would have to figure out this child care issue for himself.

It turned out to be simpler than he'd expected. Sarah was a single mother who lived in his building. He'd helped her out a few times with various things. They'd even gone out on a date, but there hadn't been any romantic sparks. But they liked each other enough to become friends. Like everyone else, he only told her selected things about his life, but he had mentioned his son early on. Sarah had been the first one in Portland he'd come to for help when he had to take Max. She'd been so helpful and he was grateful. Max was soon enrolled in the same daycare that Sarah's kids were at. He'd watched her kids a few times, so she was happy to return the favor and recommend other sitters as well. She'd also given him information on where to go for help getting Max adjusted, especially after leaving an abusive situation.

From what Jacob had been able to tell, Chuck had mostly been abusive of Josie and was largely indifferent to Max. The hitting hadn't been a common occurrence but there was a bit of verbal abuse as well. He was hoping a new situation would be enough to help Max, but he made an appointment with the child psychologist that the charity Sarah directed him to had suggested.

When he'd gone back to the Annex, he was very glad that he'd been living two lives for decades. Or he'd never be able to pull this off.


	2. Chapter 2

Cassandra Cillian had a few secrets of her own. Well, they weren't really secrets because had any of her co-workers ever asked, she would have told them. But they didn't. This new world was confusing enough and they were all still finding their way as a team. So what she did when she wasn't at the Annex wasn't really a topic for discussion.

She had a feeling though that things were changing. Christmas had brought them all closer together. Stone had been particularly friendly and she thought they were finally coming together. But something had happened when he went home for his Christmas vacation. He'd gotten sick for one and hadn't been around. And certainly ever since then he wasn't hanging around the Annex like he used to. Instead he was checking the books out and taking them home. He also wasn't making his trips home every weekend any more.

She didn't think he knew that she knew where he was going every weekend. She spent as much time in the Annex as he did, maybe more. So she noticed everyone's comings and goings. And she noticed when they changed.

Something must have happened at home, she mused that morning as she'd gotten ready. He had come back late, saying he didn't need the Back Door, that he'd be driving home. Then he called in sick. She shook her head, she could only imagine that something major had happened and now he was completely estranged from his family. She wished he could talk to someone about that. She wished she could be that person, but if not her, then maybe Baird or . . . . Probably not Ezekiel. But Stone kept to himself, so who knew? Maybe he had made friends here in Portland, maybe he had a girlfriend. Despite his not visiting Oklahoma and going home more, he did seem happier than he had been since they met.

Cassandra put her tea cup in the sink rather forcefully. A girlfriend would be the best explanation for all of that. He wasn't hanging around the Annex because he had someone to see. She was not jealous. Not at all. He said he liked her, but obviously she'd ruined any chance they had. So she had to be happy he was happy right?

There was no sense dwelling on Stone or jumping to conclusions. That ship had sailed. And today was her day to do something that her teammates didn't know about.

Ever since she'd left her parents' restrictive home and moved in with her Aunt Gertrude, Cassandra had passed her time giving back. Great-Aunt Gertie had been Cassandra's role model. Gertie was quiry, fun and always her own woman, the relative that Cassandra had most taken after and admired. She'd accepted her grand niece into her home and had always tried to get her to fly. Cassandra had always been too timid to do so. . .well until Flynn and the Library. But Gertie had also encouraged Cassandra to volunteer and do new things and meet new people.

So as soon as Cassandra was fully settled in Portland, she'd begun volunteering. Although she didn't really like babies, okay she kinda hated them, she did like children. They were much more interesting when they could walk and talk. So she volunteered with a program that helped children who had been removed from abusive situations. Some of the kids were foster, others had recently escaped with their mothers (and in a couple of cases fathers) from abusive homes, and several were being raised by grandparents, relatives or a different parent. Some of the kids were highly troubled but as she was relatively new she'd been placed primarily with a group of preschoolers who were fairly well adjusted and just needed a little help.

There was a new little boy in her group today, slightly shy with messy brown hair and blue eyes. Something was nagging the back of her mind about him when June came over to her. June was the therapist, a kindly older women with a crinkly eyed smile.

"That's Maxwell," June nodded toward the new boy. "He recently moved in with his father. His father caught his mother's boyfriend about to hit the boy. "

Cassandra shook her head. It was an all too common story here, at least he had a father who was willing to step in. All too often . . . . She let her thoughts trail off and turned back to June.

June had paused to remind one of the children to be careful with his pair of scissors and then when he obeyed, she turned back to Cassandra.

"His father doesn't know how much went on. He knows for certain his ex-wife was being abused." June shook her head sadly. "He tried to get her out too, but you know how that story goes. But she wanted him to take their son far away. As much as he can tell, the boyfriend was just largely indifferent to little Max but he certainly would have witnessed the abuse. The psychologist seems to agree with that assessment. He's very shy but otherwise he's doing okay. He probably won't be here too long but his father is very concerned."

Cassandra read between the lines when June smiled softly. Max's father felt guilty for not noticing what was going on and was now over protective. She was glad for Max's sake that he was now in a safe home. She hoped that the father was getting a little support as well. Guilt was a terrible thing, she knew from experience. And from working with these families, she also knew that often the signs were well hidden from outsiders.

She smiled at June and made her way over to the arts and crafts table. She'd been teaching the kids about numbers and shapes via art projects and it was something she loved. The kids greeted her with a chorus of hellos and mostly mispronunciations of her name. She'd thought once about having the kids try calling her 'Cassie' but that was a nickname only one person had ever given her and for some strange reason, she wanted it to be his alone. So she answered to whatever these kids chose to call her.

She'd introduced herself to Max and he'd smiled shyly at her. As the project continued, she'd stopped to admire his. He had talent that was beyond his four years.

"Wow, you're doing a great job, Max."

He smiled up at her, "thank you, ma'am." The politeness and that accent that reminded her of a certain art historian just melted her heart. If she didn't know better . . . .

From the moment she met little Max, they were best friends. Or at least as best of friends a grown woman could be with a preschooler. Sometimes her work wasn't all fun, it was certainly dangerous and could be sad. But coming in and working with the kids especially Max really helped.

Max wasn't supposed to stay in the program very long, but he ended up being there for months. June had explained that his father worked long and sometimes unpredictable hours. Which wasn't helping Max adjust as much as they'd hoped. His attachment to Cassandra, on the other hand, was helping him out quite a bit. So Max stayed right where he was. His father's mind was at ease knowing that the boy was in safe hands and Cassandra was happy to have him around.

Cassandra's regular day was two days after the ill fated mission in Collins Falls. The only teeny tiny upside to that awful mess was the fact that apparently Stone didn't have a girlfriend in Portland. Or if he had, he didn't any more. Cassandra hadn't been able to control her jealousy and she was pretty certain Stone now knew how she felt about him. Although he was just upset enough about the outcome that maybe he wouldn't remember her behavior.

"Andra?" Max asked when she came in and sat down, her usual upbeat mood down. He always called her Andra and she let him. "Are you sad?"

She nodded. "I had a very bad week. Can I have a hug?"

Max smiled and gave her a hug. "My daddy is sad this week too. He told me he . . . ." Max scrunched up his face in thought. "Lost a friend and hurt another one. He needed a hug too."

She quirked a smile at him. "Well your hugs really help."

"They used to help my mama too. When the bad man . . . ." Max bit his lip and Cassandra smiled gently at him. "I miss her. "

"I bet she misses you too."

Max nodded. "Daddy says she does. He and Mama used ta fight but not like her and the bad man. Daddy is too nice. He and Mama just . . . ."

"Didn't get along?" Cassandra asked gently, letting Max open up.

He nodded. "He isn't mean, they just yelled sometimes. After I got put in bed."

Cassandra nodded. "So they didn't know you heard?" That was nice, they tried to keep him out of it, she had a feeling that both parents really loved their son.

Max nodded. "Yep. Daddy says he tried but he says Mama is," and Max stumbled over a word that Cassandra was certain was supposed to be 'impossible.'

Cassandra actually laughed. "I bet she'd say the same thing about your Daddy."

Max nodded. "Mama loves me more than anythin'. That's why she sent me with Daddy. Daddy says some day she'll come to her senses. Don't know what that means. But til then I'm here with Daddy. And it's nice. Daddy's great and I've got you."

"You do." Cassandra was worried though, Max was probably done with the program very soon. And while she'd tried hard not to get attached, she was going to ask for his contact info. She didn't even know Max's last name.

She gave him a hug when it was time for her to go and she went home feeling at least better about that last mission. If a little sad that she might not see her little friend again.


	3. Chapter 3

It was a week and a half after Collins Falls. During that week, Jacob had done a lot of thinking. About life and what he needed to take away from Mabel and her sad fate. Would Mabel have left that town had things turned out different? Probably. Part of him hoped where ever she was, that she was finally free.

The best thing he could do for Mabel now was to honor her memory by living his life. He hadn't been quite able to explain to her that part of his responsibilities had been his son. She would have given him another pass like she had him trying to keep the business afloat. What Jacob should have been doing was getting Max the hell out of there. Josie too. They should have left that town when they got married.

He wasn't so sure that would have saved their marriage. That probably would have fallen apart anyway. But maybe Josie would have liked the real him. And maybe there was a side of her that would have come out in a new circumstance that he would have liked. Or at least, maybe even if their divorce was a certainty, she might have ended up in the end with a man that was good for her. After all, she was a good woman who deserved someone better than Chuck.

He at least knew that Josie's mind was at ease knowing that Max was thriving here. He'd just been graduated out of his program and on their advice he'd gotten Max into a preschool. The term had already started but they were good about allowing late comers. He'd start on Monday.

Jacob was thinking about going into the Annex on Monday and coming clean to the others about his family. The job was dangerous, after all, though he had made contingency plans in case he met the fate of many Librarians before him. But it was getting harder and harder to juggle childcare with the demands of the job and he realized maybe it wouldn't hurt to explain his circumstances to the others.

Besides that, Mabel's life had shown him he needed to not only embrace this new world for himself, but introduce Max to it as well. All that knowledge and the world literally at his Back Door? What an amazing opportunity for a child.

Perhaps Max was a little too young right now for it. But in a few years they could travel, anywhere they wanted to go. And he wouldn't have to worry about airplanes and hotels and taking him out of school. They could nip to Athens for dinner or China for the weekend. Yeah, he'd probably have to wait until he was older. It would be hard to tell a 4 year old to not quite tell his friends about a magic door.

Jacob chuckled to himself and said 4 year old looked up at him.

"Sorry cowboy, I was thinking of something funny that happened at work. How was your last day at the center?"

Max frowned. "It was okay. I'm gonna miss Andra. She wasn't there today and she was sad last time."

Jacob put his arm around Max. Max had talked a lot about the volunteer who had befriended him. Jacob hadn't met Andra (he assumed her name was Andrea) but he had intended on asking about her today. But it had slipped his mind in his haste to pick Max up. There had been paperwork and his mind had been full of other things. Most of them were about Mabel, but partly Cassandra too. She'd been avoiding him since Collins Falls, he was pretty sure that she thought he blamed her for what happened. He needed to make that right, his turning down what was probably her attempt at clearing the air had probably hurt her. Poor thing, he knew about guilt and what had happened was not her fault.

"Well, I can give them a call on Monday and see about getting her phone number. I'm sure she'd love to hear from you, okay?"

Max grinned up at him, "thanks, Daddy."

"Alright, ready to get this grocery shopping done?"

"Yes, sir." And Max flipped him a salute that always caused Jacob to laugh.

* * *

Cassandra was busy doing her grocery shopping. She was trying to keep all thoughts of anything else than what she was going to have for dinner for the next week out of her head. Even though that was pretty much an impossible task. She always had dozens of things going through her mind at any one second.

But mostly she was trying to not be sad about knowing that when she went back to the center next week, little Max would not be there. She was happy for him, it was so good that he was moving on. But she'd miss his happy smile and his polite manners and the way he reminded her of the other person she was trying not to think about.

 _Stone._ Today she realized that he'd noticed her avoiding him. She was way too obvious about it today. And he'd looked hurt. She sighed. They usually didn't go in on weekends unless Jenkins called them in so she'd have to be a big girl and talk to him on Monday.

She was both looking forward to it and dreading it.

She squared her shoulders and deliberately concentrated on the nutritional information on the two boxes of cereal she was considering. Shopping and only shopping. Finally making her decision, she went over her list again in her head. She needed to concentrate because this trip was taking her far too long. It was time to hit the dairy section.

* * *

Shopping with a four year old was an experience, Jacob thought as he put items back on the shelf that Max kept putting in his cart. The boy was mostly good but if you told him to grab his favorite cereal, he would grab five boxes of it. Or five different flavors. The different flavors of boxed macaroni and cheese had thrown them both for a loop. Who knew they came in so many flavors and shapes? Jacob was pretty sure they'd grabbed them all. Including jalapeno that Jacob knew Max wouldn't eat despite his insistence that he could.

"Okay, okay, well we're gonna need milk for all this cereal and mac and cheese." Jacob sighed, steering the cart toward the back of the store.

Max was slightly ahead of him, but Jacob could see him, that is until he turned the corner.

"Max!" Jacob rolled his eyes, the kid would be fine for a minute out of his sight. Until he heard the boy shout. His heart started beating hard though just as suddenly he realized that it was a happy shout and he slowed down. There were probably Chewbacca gummies or something on a display. He'd done that earlier in when he'd seen Star Wars shaped cookies down another aisle.

Cassandra was debating whether to get the skim milk or the 1% when a small boy came running around the corner. He gave a happy shout and she looked at him and a smile broke out on her face.

"Max!"

"Andra!"

She knelt down to give him a hug.

"My daddy is around the corner," Max said, before Cassandra could ask why he was there.

"Oh, you slip away from him just a bit?" she asked with a chuckle and as the boy sheepishly nodded.

Jacob came around the corner to see a woman kneeling before his son, the little boy's arms still around her neck. A red haired woman that was very familiar to him. For a moment, he just stood there, his mouth open in shock, luckily Max and the woman were looking at each other and not him.

Finally willing his voice to work, he called out her name. "Cassandra?"

Shocked by the calling of her name, Cassandra raised her head, her eyes widening as she looked from the boy in front of her to the man calling her name.

Now she knew why the little boy had always reminded her of Stone. Having them in front of her, she could clearly see the resemblance. A nephew? But Max had said Daddy . . . .

"Stone?" she asked, brushing off her skirt and standing up. Eyes that looked just like Max's met hers and she knew. All of the strangeness of his actions since Christmas and even before began to fit together, she still had a lot of missing pieces but now she had the main component of the puzzle. "You're Max's father."

Stone took a deep breath through his nose and nodded. Next to him Max, suddenly spoke up. "Daddy, you know Andra?"

"Andra. . . of course. Andra. I thought he was saying Andrea. But he can't . . . ."

"Say Cassandra. I let the kids call me anything they'd like, they've been through enough they don't need to be corrected over something like that."

"Daddy?" Max was really confused now.

"Sorry," Stone broke off his stare at Cassandra. "Yes, Cassandra and I work together. So, I guess you will be able to see her now."

"If you'll let me, I'm really very fond of him."

"Of course, you can see each other." He, after all, was going to look up this volunteer for Max's sake. And it was time he told Cassandra that he was learning to trust her, how better than to allow her to spend time with the child she was so fond of. But there was so much he still had to explain to her. He bit his lip. "Cassandra . . .we have to finish shopping. But we need to talk."

"Right, yes . . . . Hey, I was making spaghetti and meatballs tonight. I can easily make enough for three. Would you like to come over? We'll talk?"

Both pairs of blue eyes were pleading with him and he was having a hard time resisting. He closed his eyes trying to avoid them but he could hear Max.

"Oh please Daddy! I'll be on my best behavior!"

"Stone? I mean, I just figured it . . . ."

He opened his eyes and nodded slowly. He knew she had so many questions and she was showing amazing restraint. Especially since she had to have know Max's situation with Chuck and his mother.

"Alright, we'll come for dinner."

Max squealed and hugged his knees.

Jacob laughed down at Max, ruffling his hair and then turned to Cassandra. "Text me your address? Baird drove the only time I've been to your place. "

She nodded. "Five o'clock? I'm sure you have to give him dinner early."

"Sounds good," Stone leaned past Cassandra to grab a gallon of whole milk. "Thank you, Cassandra. For a whole lot of stuff."

She nodded and gave Max another hug before waving goodbye to them both.

She turned back to her milk studying with a deep breath. Stone had a son. And an ex-wife.

 _What else didn't she know?_

What she did know was that she needed to buy a bigger loaf of bread and a bit more ground beef. And maybe another box of pasta so she'd have some for later. Ranch dressing for the salad? She doubted Max would like the Italian that she and Stone would have eaten. Oooh, ice cream sandwiches. Max was the perfect excuse for that splurge.

She clapped her hands in delight and motivation. She really was looking forward to this. And making a plan would keep her from being too distracted by questions and thoughts about Stone. He was keeping a lot but his eyes said that he was ready to talk to her now. That was major and she was honored.


	4. Chapter 4

As they went to the front of the store, Stone thought about buying a bottle of wine for Cassandra. It was the polite thing to do but he wasn't sure if she even drank it or what kind she'd like. She did drink beer, which was usually what she ordered when they went out. In fact, she and he had almost identical tastes in beer and had she'd introduced him to a local microbrew recently that they both enjoyed. So instead, he snagged a six pack of it from the cooler.

"We should buy Andra flowers," Max said as they made their way to the registers. "Girls like flowers, right? Mama does."

"Well, Cassandra sure wears enough on her dresses." Stone chuckled. "But I'd bet she'd like flowers from you. What should we get her?"

"Lots of colors," Max nodded. "Andra likes colors."

Stone laughed this time, his son sure had his co-worker begged. He let Max pick out the flowers, the most colorful assortment in the ready to go bouquets. He really didn't want to know how much they cost, but two sets of smiles, the one on Max's face when he picked it and the one he knew Cassandra would give Max made it worth it.

* * *

Cassandra looked over her dinner preparations and checked her phone for texts. She and Stone had exchanged a few, mostly related to directions and food preferences. She'd realized she hadn't asked if Max had any food allergies or was a picky eater before she'd left the store. Aside from the ranch dressing preference that she'd guessed, Stone has assured her that Max would be fine with her menu.

There was a text from Stone saying he and Max had just left and they'd be at her place in less than 15 minutes, depending on traffic.

The sauce and meatballs were simmering on very low where they would be fine. The bread was wrapped in foil to keep warm and the water was being kept at a low boil. She'd boil the pasta right at the last minute. The salad was already in bowls ready for dressing. The table was set. She'd completely forgotten to ask about beverages.

She sighed. She only had a bottle, maybe two of beer having completely forgotten to stock up. She did have milk for Max. And there was always water. She didn't want to bother Stone when he was driving, so it would have to do.

She looked around quickly to make sure the place looked presentable. She wasn't sure how child proof her place was, but she didn't really spend a lot of time there to get it too messy. She was sure it was fine.

It was when she checked her hair in the mirror a couple of minutes before she expected Stone that she finally gave herself a firm talking to. This was not a date. She and Stone were not like that, wouldn't ever be like that. She was having friends over for dinner and it was just like the last time Stone had been in her apartment. Only instead of having Baird and Ezekiel with him, he had his son. That was all.

The doorbell rang and she wiped her palms down her skirt and went to open it.

Max was holding a colorful bouquet of flowers, smiling his smile that made his little eyes crinkle up. How had she not seen the similarities to Stone? Because she hadn't even thought of the possibility. But now she knew why she'd been drawn to the little one.

"These are for you," Max said holding them out to her.

She smiled back at him, exactly how his father had pictured it. "That's so sweet! Thank you so much, Max." She looked up at Stone, "and you as well."

"They were all his idea," Stone smiled down at the boy. "But he was so proud of himself, I had to let him get you them. I brought that beer you like."

"Oh good!" Cassandra laughed. "I totally forgot about something to drink and I was afraid you and I were going to have to split a beer. Is milk okay for Max? I know kids drink whole but all I have is 1%."

"It's okay, he'll probably want water anyway, he's picky about the milk."

"Come on, Max," she held a hand out for the child and he took it beaming happily. "Let's get these pretty flowers in some water."

She lead her guests into the kitchen where Stone put the beer in the fridge and asked if he could help with anything.

"If you could turn the heat up on the water, I just need to boil the pasta and we'll have dinner." Cassandra, said, busying herself with arranging the flowers in her favorite vase.

She noticed Max was very careful around the stove and she once again was struck by how well mannered he was. Whatever had happened with his mother, the child had been very well raised.

"Water's boilin'," Stone said. "This the pasta you want to use?"

"Yes, if you can start it, I'd really appreciate it. Thanks, Stone."

Stone nodded, but as he picked up the box, he said, "we're not at work. You can call me Jacob."

She nodded, "alright, Jacob."

Jacob had mentioned to Max that he needed to wash his hands, so Cassandra put the flowers on the china cabinet near her dining room table and directed Max to the powder room.

"He's so polite," she mentioned to Jacob when she returned to the kitchen. "Always thank you, ma'am. You should be very proud of him."

Jacob smiled softly. "I am. We tried real hard to raise him right. His mama has her faults, lord knows I have 'em myself, but she did good with him."

"Is . . .is she okay?" Cassandra's eyes held nothing but concern and Jacob knew that she at least knew his ex had been abused.

He nodded. "Yeah, thank God. Course, he left her, not the other way 'round. Not sure all the details but my sister said the law came after him for somethin', rumor is child support, and he lit out in the middle of the night. Good riddance as far as Josie's concerned. Weren't too long after I took Max. But she's . . . . Well, he's better off here."

"Well, I'm glad to hear she's safe at least."

"Cassie, I know you have a lot of questions . . . ."

"I do. But let's eat first, okay? Then we'll put a movie on for Max and you and I can talk. And whatever you want to tell me, Jacob, I'm here to listen."

He nodded, smiling softly. "I could really use a friend, Cassandra. It's been hard keeping it all in. I was about to tell everyone about him. But, I'm not sure I want Baird, Jenkins and especially Jones to know it all and . . . ."

Max came back into the kitchen and Cassandra told Stone to get beverages for everyone while she drained the pasta.

Cassandra had thought that the conversation might be awkward given that she and Stone couldn't really talk about work in front of Max. But the child was much more talkative than he'd been when he'd first come to the program and they all found enough to talk about.

After dinner, Stone offered to help Cassandra wash up. It was a good way for them to talk. So Cassandra took Max into the living room.

"How about you get started on a movie while your dad and I clean up?" Max nodded and Cassandra took a handful of movies down. "I have these Disney movies or we can see what's on Netflix or tv."

Luckily _Toy Story_ was among the movies Cassandra had and Max was content to watch that.

"So where do you want to start?" Stone asked as Cassandra filled the sink with soapy water.

"Wherever you're willing to start," she answered, stacking up the dishes by the sink.

Stone took the dish cloth out of her hand and took his place in front of the sink. She had a dishwasher, but washing the dishes by hand lengthened their time to talk. She shrugged and took out a dish towel. Just as well as she knew where everything went.

"Cassandra, you gotta have questions."

"Well, I do. But the biggest one is why? Why, Jacob? Why didn't you tell us? We keep hearing how dangerous our job is and you've gotten injured so many times! What if something happened to you? None of us would have known about Max."

Jacob nodded his head, looking intently at the soapy water and turning off the faucet. "I know. It wasn't a problem when he was safe in Oklahoma with Josie."

"Yes, but he's been here since at least January . . . ."

"Yeah, I went home for Christmas and went right to Josie's place. And well, you probably know most of that."

"I know that your ex-wife's boyfriend was about to strike Max and that you took custody." Cassandra shook her head as she took the plate Jacob rinsed off. "And I know Max was in the program longer than he should have been because you worked long and unpredictable hours. If I'd only known. But Jacob . . . ."

"I know. I know. I did make plans just in case. I wrote a letter all about Max and everything all ya'll would need to know if anything happened to me. I left it with Jenkins the day I came back to the Annex after getting Max settled. I knew Jenkins wouldn't open it ahead of time and would do what I asked. I know it's not enough, Cassandra. I know that. Mabel's fate was eye opening to me."

Cassandra's face fell and Jacob suddenly turned the water off. "Cassandra, what happened with her? I don't blame you. She didn't blame you. It wasn't your fault. We did what was right. And I'm sorry if I hurt you in any way."

Cassandra blinked. So obviously Stone hadn't noticed her behavior in Collins Falls or realized why she was avoiding him. _Thank goodness_. She offered him a smile. "Thank you for that. I really needed to hear that. And I'm really glad to know that you did make plans in case something were to happen to you. But . . . ."

"I know. Honestly, Cassandra, I didn't really think about all of this. I didn't . . . there was so much going on. Suddenly becoming the sole parent, moving him across country from his family, his friends and his mother? I've been so overwhelmed. I've really just been living day to day. While saving the world every week . . . ."

"Twice before Friday," Cassandra finished with a smile. "I do get it. And if you don't feel like you can tell the others now, well you've told me and I'm willing to help."

"I want to be able to introduce Max to the Library and the Back Door. When he's a bit older, you know? He's too young now to understand. Josie put him in my hands because she wanted him to have more than we did. And he will. I'm just not sure how to go about it."

"I'm willing to help you figure that out. Have you any help at all? I mean you must have some child care for him."

"My neighbor, Sarah, she's a single mom, I swear she knows everything about raising a kid in Portland." Jacob chuckled, "she recommended a day care and the program and a list of babysitters when she's not available. Even gave me recs on the preschool I have him enrolled at. But Sarah, even though she's my friend, she thinks I'm an engineer. She knew I had a son, even before Max came here, but you know magic Library."

Cassandra nodded. "So that's why you're willing to talk to me?"

"I need a friend, Cassandra. I just . . .I know things with us are more complicated than they need to be. But I trust you, I know I should have said it long ago, but in Collins Falls . . . .I didn't like what had to be done, but I knew you were right. I knew then that I trusted you completely. And I can trust you with Max. And for once in my life, I really just need someone who knows everything. Who I am, what I'm going through. I know it's a lot to ask someone that I've treated so badly . . . ."

"Jacob . . ." Cassandra sighed. "Let's just start over, okay? We'll forget what happened in the past and just start over? As friends? For Max's sake? I really like your kid, you know."

Jacob smiled, relief across his face. "Thank you."

Then he resumed washing the dishes. Cassandra dried in silence for a couple of moments. "How long were you and Josie married?"

Jacob bit his lip. "Technically almost three years, took six months to finalize everything."

"So were. . ." Cassandra struggled on how to ask.

"We got married because she was pregnant," Jacob said bluntly. "I wanted to do right by them. It was what was expected . . . .And on paper, Josie was the perfect girl for someone like me."

"Who you were pretending to be."

"Yeah," Jacob sighed. "I did want it to work. I tried. She tried. But not enough, I guess. Sometimes I wish I'd been stronger. We could have left that town, maybe in another place, she and I could have worked it out."

"Could have beens are tough," she said softly. "Despite everything, you did okay with Max. He's such a good boy. He's come out of his shell here. He did tell me you and Josie used to fight and that he wasn't supposed to know."

Jacob sighed, handing her another rinsed dish. "We made a point to not fight in front of him. But I guess you can't completely hide it."

Cassandra gave a small smile, "especially not from a boy as smart as Max is." She chuckled. "He said you told him some day Josie would come to her senses. He didn't know what that meant."

Jacob chuckled too. "I hope she does. I'd really like her to come out here with us. "

Stone didn't notice Cassandra's face falling as she misunderstood his comment, he just kept talking. "Max and I weren't not ever going back there. Our life is here in Portland. And Josie could have a life here too, but that's her decision. I can't force her hand, I can only keep asking. I promised her I'd give our son a better life. And that's what I'm going to do. With or without her."

Cassandra took a deep breath, again Jacob had subtly indicated that a romantic relationship was not in the cards for them. But he'd asked her for her friendship and that would have to be enough. It was more than she thought she'd ever get from him and she just wanted him and Max in her life. So be it. Friends it was.

"Well," Cassandra smiled and to her surprise it wasn't forced. "I'm willing to do all I can to help you give him that life."

"Daddy! Andra! Are you coming to watch this?"

"We're almost finished," Cassandra called back, laughing. Then she turned to Jacob, "I mean it. He helped me too. Volunteering with those kids has helped me so much, but ever since he came. . . .He's helped me through some rough patches just with that smile of his. So anything for him, okay?"

"Thank you, Cassandra."


	5. Chapter 5

Over the next few weeks, Cassandra and Max continued their friendship and Cassandra and Jacob forged a new one. They had spent time together as friendly co-workers, going out for dinner and drinks with the others or having team bonding at someone's place (and now she knew why Stone had stopped volunteering to host post Christmas). But this was different, yes it was mostly Stone coming along while she spent time with Max, but there was more to it than that. Talks on benches while Max burned off energy on the playground, evenings spent playing Scrabble or watching a more grown up movie after Max had gone to bed, and even a few grown up outings that involved the few friends that both had made outside of work. Cassandra was pretty sure that her friends Cathy and Tim thought she and Jacob were dating. Introducing Jacob to them was a good thing all around though, Cathy was a stay at home mom looking for babysitting with a son Max's age and the boys took to each immediately. Tim was a math professor and Cathy had been an art teacher before having her baby. So they all got on perfectly, Jacob having whispered that Cathy actually had a book he wrote on her bookshelf, which both flattered and amused him.

Cassandra wondered if was a good idea becoming so close to Jacob and his son. Max had a mother and Jacob seemed to still carry a torch for his ex. But she simply couldn't help herself. She loved the little boy and she liked his father. She liked this new friendship that they had. Even if she wished sometimes for just a little more.

* * *

When Baird had decided to give them all the day off, Jacob and Cassandra had excitedly made their own plans. He was to drop Max off at preschool and she was going to surprise the boy with an afternoon of one on one time, complete with dinner wherever he wanted to go. It was a win-win for both, she was giving Stone a day to spend how he wanted (which for him was indulging in the Library's vast collection of art portfolios) with the knowledge that his son was well cared for and Cassandra got a free afternoon with Max. She was in the Library now, they'd had a whispered conversation at the coffee maker where she cleared her plans for Max with him and then she was off working on her own pet project. Basically it was, as Stone finished his coffee and thought about another one, the perfect morning all around.

Except the clippings book had other plans for that day for all of them.

Cassandra was so excited for the whole STEM operation that he was pretty certain she'd put the afternoon with Max to the back of her mind. Not forgotten, Cassandra never forgot, but simply reprioritized. Max, on the other hand, was always Jacob's first priority. He'd fired off a text to Sarah as they were preparing to go to Chicago. She said she should be able to pick Max up but couldn't keep him late unfortunately.

During a quiet moment of the investigation, Stone pulled Cassandra aside. "Can you cover for me with the others? Sarah can't watch Max tonight and I need to call someone else."

She paled, "oh gosh, Stone, I was supposed to have him tonight. I'm so sorry. He's going to be upset."

"Well, you were gonna surprise him with dinner and all, so at least he won't be too disappointed." Stone sighed. "Mrs. Purnell? Maybe? "

"Cathy, try calling Cathy. I know she was looking for some extra money this month and some time with James will probably make up for not spending the afternoon with me."

"Yes, that's right, she asked me the other day if I needed her to sit more. Thanks, Cassandra. I'm gonna duck outside I think."

Cassandra smiled after him and let herself ponder the fact that someone walking by would have thought they were a married couple looking for sitters. She didn't notice Ezekiel who had come in time to hear Stone's last few sentences.

Ezekiel shook his head. He swore he heard something about someone wanting to sit more. That made absolutely no sense. Americans were strange.

"There you are!" Ezekiel called for her from down the hallway. "Where's Stone?"

"He's checking up on a lead," Cassandra said. "Does Baird need me?"

* * *

Baird had given them all a makeup day off and this time Jacob decided to not risk it and work at home. He'd gone to the Annex after he dropped Max off at pre-school and gathered a collection of work to take home. Cassandra was back at her map and he'd invited her to dinner on his way out. He and Max would hit the store later because Max always liked picking up something special to make for 'Andra'.

"Hi Jacob," Sarah said as he stopped to check his mailbox in the hallway. She was gathering up her own mail. "Working from home today?"

"Yep," Jacob chuckled. "The boss wanted to make up for keeping me so late the other day. But I had to run in and grab some stuff. How are you? I feel bad, I'm always asking you to grab Max for me but I've hardly talk to you. Though," and he nudged her with his elbow, his hands not being free. "There's been a guy around here lately."

Sarah blushed. "I wasn't sure if I should mention it. I mean we did go out once. Though it kinda . . . ."

"Which is why I am happy for you," Jacob shook his head. "Trust me, I'm not that kinda guy. I have a few close female friends."

"Well his name is Mike and he's really good with the kids and things are going really well so far. We should go on a double date sometime with you and your girlfriend!"

"My girlfriend?" Jacob looked confused. "I don't . . .I'm not seein' anyone."

It was Sarah's turn to look confused. "So the pretty redhead? Max calls her Andra?"

"Cassandra?" Jacob shook his head. "Nah, we're just friends. Co-workers, actually. But she volunteered at Max's program and they got real close. So with his mama not really in the picture, I figured he could use a female in his life and she's had some rough patches that he helps her with."

Sarah cocked her head at him and laughed. "Really? And she's not helping you with your own rough patches?"

"I really don't know what you're talking about." Jacob huffed. "Sarah, come on, don't bring it up in front of her. I don't want to embarrass her. And I've gotta get to work."

"Right, right, I'm sorry I misunderstood. I'll see you later."

"Right, bye Sarah."

Jacob walked back to his apartment, his mind whirling. Did he and Cassandra appear to be a couple to outsiders? She was over a lot and she often stayed long after Max went to bed. He was making her dinner again tonight. Ever since they'd started over, he'd come to understand what it was about her that he'd liked from the moment they met. It really was a breath of fresh air being around someone he could be himself around, male or female. She was sweet and so good with Max. She certainly was pretty, beautiful even. And she pretty much had him wrapped around her finger already.

 _Damn_.

This was not good. Not that he'd ever dated a co-worker before, but he knew it could be trouble. And trouble they didn't need in their special line of work. Not that they all hadn't noticed the vibe between Flynn and Baird, but their co-worker relationship was different. Flynn wasn't there every day. He and Baird didn't necessarily have to work as a team. He and Cassandra did.

And he was pretty sure Cassandra didn't feel that way about him. That ship had sailed pretty much right off the bat. Way too much water under that bridge. She just wanted his friendship and to spend time with Max.

Also the thing was, he really wanted Cassandra in his life. In and out of the Library. And dating her could- **would** mess things up. He had such a bad track record. Between his marriage falling apart and his other relationships crumbling and even Mabel . . . . He was cursed when it came to relationships. Cassandra didn't deserve the heartbreak he'd cause her. Max would be crushed. Hell, he'd be devastated. She was rapidly becoming his best friend, he couldn't lose her, it just wasn't an option. So friendship it had to be, it was the only way.

Even if he now realized this vague feeling of being unhappy with that decision was not new. And wasn't out of the blue either.

He sighed and turned to his portfolios. He really did have research to do and he needed to get something done before he picked up Max and Cassandra came over. So he pushed his troubling thoughts out of his mind and lost himself in art. And when Cassandra came over, he let himself enjoy her company. Because even though he did want a little something more, he took what he could get.

* * *

It had been possibly the weirdest day Jacob had spent at the Library. And he wasn't even sure what had happened for most of it. All he knew was that he was never wearing that shirt again, stained as it was with both Lamia and Baird's blood. The blood had been cleaned off Baird by the magical potion but he and Flynn still had it splattered on themselves. Both of them had taken turns using the shower in the Annex's locker room and both had agreed that they didn't want to keep their clothing.

Stone was shaken, he and Cassandra had each held Lamia's hands when she died, neither of them wanting to let her die alone and both knowing that Lamia hadn't been necessarily evil, just very misguided. That had been bad enough but then Baird . . . . Baird had for all intents and purposes died in his arms. Eve, who'd come to be like a sister to him, to them all, had very nearly not come back. And all he wanted after scrubbing that blood off was to go home and wrap his arms around his little boy.

As he'd made his way out into the Annex, wearing the spare shirt he'd kept in the locker room, he'd come across Cassandra. She was standing in the middle of the Annex, looking a bit lost and dazed. The Library's return had finally righted the wrong that they'd all forgiven her for, but had still weighed so heavily on her. But he was sure she was just as shaken as he was. And he knew exactly how to help.

"Hey, Cassie?" he asked gently, appearing at her elbow as she seemed miles away.

She shook her head to clear it and turned to him, using his first name for the first time in the workplace. "Jacob?"

"I'm going home to hug my son, would you like to come with me?"

She nodded vigorously and he could see the tears in her eyes.

"Then we'll take him for the biggest sundae we can find in Portland. Sound good?"

"Yes, yes it does."

When he ushered her out the door ahead of him, he let his hand linger on the small of her back longer than necessary, both of them finding comfort in that brief touch.


	6. Chapter 6

Eve Baird couldn't quite wrap her mind around what had happened this day. Oh in her career, she'd seen plenty of weird, plenty of dangerous. None of the weird had measured up to these six months at the Library, however, and if she'd really thought that minotaurs, mummies, dragons in man costumes and splintering across the universe to spread good will had been the weirdest things she'd ever experience, well today had proven her wrong. Crossing three alternate universes, finding out her alter had been a mother figure for Ezekiel and the lover of at least Stone, if not both he and Cassandra . . . . She cringed and shook her head. She tried to replace the unsettling feel of that Stone's lips on hers with the real Stone's much more brotherly kiss to her forehead, one of the last things she'd thought she'd ever feel. If she had died that day, she wouldn't have minded dying for these people, taking the blow for her Librarian and dying in the arms of her three charges. She had a family she loved dearly, but life had scattered them to the four corners of the globe. So it was this new makeshift family, two little brothers and a sister, plus whatever Jenkins was, that she was closest to. She didn't die today, but she would make that sacrifice again and again for them.

They'd all been so scared today, Stone had shown cracks in his armor, Cassandra had screamed and Ezekiel had suddenly acted his age instead of the worldly thief he usually let the world see. She hoped they'd all gone home and were recovering from this day in their own ways.

As for her, she could really use a stiff drink. . . and a massage. But a stiff drink was the first thing on her to do list.

She found Ezekiel alone in the Annex, an unfinished cup of tea sitting in front of him. Jenkins had pressed cups on every one being of the opinion that a cuppa cured all ills.

"Where's everyone else?" she asked him, taking the seat across from him.

"I think Cassandra and Stone left," Ezekiel shrugged. "Jenkins is in his lab and Flynn. . . ."

Flynn chose that moment to pop back through the door which was set up to connect to the Library. Jenkins had explained that until they figured out a better solution they would have to use the Back Door to access the Library.

Flynn actually looked the most subdued she'd ever seen him and a bit worried too. "Why aren't you resting?"

 _Ah, it was worry toward her_. That she could handle. "I'm sitting down. Besides, I'm fine. Good as new as you said. What I could really use is a drink."

Ezekiel, who also seemed very down for him, visibly perked up at that. "Oh, I'm in."

They both looked at Flynn. He shrugged. "I suppose I could go for a drink."

Baird smiled, "I know Jenkins will probably decline as he'd probably prefer to savor his Scotch in peace. I do wish Stone and Cassandra were here." She chuckled, "who knows, maybe they went for a drink together."

Ezekiel snorted but Flynn looked thoughtful.

"Things are better between them, aren't they? I mean they seem much more friendly."

"As far as I can tell," Baird said, getting up and leading the way to the street door. "Though I imagine Stone probably did go for a drink and Cassandra went for a bath. Which actually sounds like that'll be my next step after a drink."

"That sounds lovely," Flynn said a bit wistfully.

Behind them Ezekiel groaned. "Don't make me regret going out with you."

Baird laughed, a much needed one as they headed out into the fresh air.

* * *

"Are you and Daddy okay, Andra?" Max had asked after both Jacob and Cassandra had taken turns hugging him tightly. Jacob had let Cassandra go first and was a long time releasing his son, burying his face in the child's hair. Cassandra was quite certain that had been to hide tears from both of them. Today had been rough, first Lamia, then Baird, but Baird had stopped breathing in Jacob's arms . . .and as painful as that moment had been for her, Cassandra imagined that it was even worse for Stone.

"We had a really tough day, sweetheart," Cassandra said kneeling down next to him. "A dear friend of ours was very sick for a while and we were really worried. But she's all better now. And so are we. Especially," and she smiled and tickled him, getting a giggle from the boy. "Now that we've had your special hugs."

Jacob grinned and ruffled Max's hair. "And Cassandra and I were thinkin', what else makes us feel better besides your hugs?"

"Ice cream?" Max asked, his eyes wide and hopeful.

Cassandra laughed, already feeling a million times better.

"Ice cream!" Jacob said, picking Max up. "C'mon, I feel like we deserve that giant banana split."

"Oooh," Cassandra said following them out the door. "With vanilla and chocolate . . . ."

"And strawberry!" Max cried.

"Yes and strawberry."

* * *

"Oh my goodness, I think no more sweets for a week for me." Cassandra giggled, leaning back against the booth at the ice cream place. They'd gotten the family size banana split and despite their valiant efforts, there was still some ice cream and banana left in the dish.

"Amateur," Stone laughed, making a face at Max, who laughed in return.

"Uh-huh, you're the one who is going to deal with your son being on a sugar high all evening, not me."

Stone sighed. "Right . . . hey, you wanna go to the park? It's still light out and he can run some of this off."

Cassandra shrugged. "I had no plans, so that sounds good."

Stone took Max back to the restroom and Cassandra asked for the check from the waitress. She told Jacob it was her treat since he cooked her dinner so often.

When she returned with the check, the waitress smiled and said, "your little boy is adorable. Looks just like his daddy. Gonna be a heartbreaker, that one."

Cassandra paused for a moment, wanting to correct the woman, but aside from the 'your' she was certainly telling the truth. So she only smiled and thanked her. She was waiting in line at the register when Jacob and Max returned and she waved at them. She sometimes wished father and son wouldn't smile at her like they did, all happy and crinkly eyed. It made it so easy to pretend that they were a family. She sighed a little and shook her head .

When she rejoined the Stones at the door, Jacob asked her if she was okay. But she put a smile on and said she was, just had been thinking a little too much. And he'd nodded and smiled sympathetically and she let him believe she'd been thinking about the day and not about their relationship.

"Ready to go to the park?" she smiled down at Max, deflecting Jacob's attention off of her.

"Yep!"

It was easier, after Cassandra assessed the parking situation to leave Stone's truck where it was and walk to the park, then try to drive over and find new parking. Jacob went over the walking rules with Max.

"And make sure you're holding on to both of our hands at all times, okay?" Jacob wondered when the last time he'd said that was probably before he and Josie had decided to split up and Max had probably been closer to two than to three.

"Yes, Daddy," Max chirped grabbing each adult's hands. Cassandra giggled at his tone and Jacob chuckled. He was plenty sure he'd be carrying the boy back to the car. As it was, the sugar rush hadn't quite kicked in yet and all of them were sluggish from all the ice cream. So it was a slow walk toward the park. But none of them really minded. The sun would still be up for a while and they had no plans.

* * *

"If I'm right, this bar should be right here. And I'm usually correct. Well mostly. Well 89 percent of the time anyway. And this bar should be right here." Flynn pointed at a store front that was most decidedly not a bar.

"Seriously?" Baird asked, rolling her eyes. "Are we even in the right neighborhood? Or does this bar even exist at all? And why couldn't we just go drink at the usual place?"

Flynn held up a hand. "To be fair, I don't drink at your usual place, as it's the place you go with the L.I.T.s and not me."

Ezekiel cackled. "He's got a point."

Baird rested her face against her palm. "Alright, let's go down to the end of this block and if it's still not there, we get a cab and go to our usual."

Flynn and Ezekiel nodded in agreement and started walking, all three scanning the doorways for the bar that Flynn had described. Suddenly, Ezekiel stopped dead.

"Well, I'll be."

"What?" Baird asked. "Do you see the bar?"

"Nope."

"Then why are we stopping?" Baird now wanted to go home and just drink a whole bottle of something in peace.

"Because of that," and Ezekiel pointed across the street. At a man who looked like a certain art historian from Oklahoma and a woman who looked like their synesthete mathematician. They were both holding the hands of a small boy.

"No way," Baird breathed. "They don't . . .what is going on?"

Flynn had opened and closed his mouth twice, but was suddenly striding across the street. Jaywalking, of course. Baird sighed, but looked for traffic before running after him. Ezekiel chortled and then followed the two of them.

Cassandra noticed them first. "Oh, no."

"What?" Stone saw his co-workers and sighed. "Well . . . ."

Upon closer inspection, it was quite obvious that the child bore a striking resemblance to Stone. So that, Baird reflected, answered questions about paternity. But who was this child's mother? Was it Cassandra? It couldn't possibly be, could it?

"Hi, guys," Cassandra said lamely when it was obvious she couldn't pretend to not see her co-workers any longer.

Flynn was staring at Max in such a way that made the child start clutching both their hands tighter. Stone knew that Flynn was just trying to solve the puzzle and knew he didn't mean anything by it, but Max could be very shy around strangers. Stone let go of his son's hand to wrap his arm around the boy's shoulders and Cassandra dropped the hand she was holding.

"So," Baird said after an awkward second. "I take it there is something that you're not telling us? Possibly several somethings?"

Ezekiel jumped in. "You guys had a kid together? When were you going to tell us about your mini me?"

Baird turned to Ezekiel. "I don't think she's his mother. I mean we all met at the same time, right? I mean why would she be in New York? I mean I guess they could have broken up . . . ."

Stone was about to put an end to the speculation but Max, now overwhelmed by the staring and the talking burst into tears. In a moment, Stone had picked the child up and was rocking him against his shoulder, pressing kisses against his forehead and whispering words of comfort.

Cassandra looked over with concern, gently patting Max's back, before turning to her co-workers. "Guys?"

Ezekiel and Baird were now arguing over how they could have concealed Max's existence and a hypothetical relationship between Stone and Cassandra.

In between comments from Ezekiel and Baird and over the sounds of Max's tears, a frustrated Cassandra kept trying to interrupt, saying "um, guys?" over and over but she was largely ignored. Stone was far too busy trying to take care of Max to really get them to listen.

Flynn turned to Baird and Ezekiel. "While that child is undoubtedly Stone's, there's no way that he could be Cassandra's."

"How do you know?" Baird asked, curious.

"Isn't it obvious?" Flynn asked, blinking.

"No, not really," she said with an eye roll.

Flynn took a deep breath. "Well his . . . ."

" **GUYS**!" Cassandra's voice finally broke through all the chatter and the threesome finally turned their attention to her.

That's when they noticed the boy sobbing in his father's arms. Stone glared at them over the boy's head.

"Oh . . ." Baird said, her face apologetic. "I'm sorry."

"We didn't mean to make the little fella cry," Ezekiel said, his voice oddly contrite.

"He's shy," Cassandra said softly. "He's been through a lot. But he isn't my son."

"He is mine," Stone said, his own face softening as he pressed a kiss to the boy's head. "And I know you have a lot of questions. But not here, okay?"

"Yeah, here isn't the best place." Baird nodded her head.

"We're parked around the corner, come over to my place in about a half an hour, okay? You remember how to get there?"

"Well, we took a cab here, so just text me your address," Baird said.

Jacob nodded and he and Cassandra turned toward the direction they'd come from in the first place.

"Well, wow," Baird said. "Do you think we still have time for a drink? Because I really need one now."


	7. Chapter 7

Max had stopped crying by the time that they'd reached the truck, though he still clung to his father.

"Who were they?" he finally asked as Jacob buckled him into his car seat. "Why were they yelling?"

Jacob sighed. "They were people Cassandra and I work with. They had a hard day too. I . . ." And he shook his head, deciding it was a good time for an example to be set. "I didn't tell them something really important, that I should have. They were a bit upset with me."

Max frowned. "Lyin' is bad, Daddy."

Stone, who had spent so much of his life lying, grimaced briefly and cast a look at Cassandra. He'd once thrown stones at her, something he regretted given his own sins. But he looked back at his son. "You're right, buddy. And Daddy is real sorry for it. So they're gonna come over and I'm gonna make it right."

"Even the one who stared at me?"

Cassandra chuckled softly. "That's just Flynn. He didn't mean to. He thought you were really interesting, like how you'd look at a plant or a bug."

"He didn't yell," Max said thoughtfully. "Plus I liked his eyes, they're like yours Andra, nice."

"They all are nice when they're not having bad days. But let's go home." Cassandra said, reaching past Jacob to kiss Max's cheek.

Stone decided not to comment on Cassandra's use of the word 'home.' Up until a few minutes ago, he'd been indulging himself in one of his all too frequent fantasies about life with her. These stolen moments when he could pretend he'd had everything he ever wanted and he'd never break her heart.

She hopped up into the passenger seat and Stone went around to the other side.

"I really didn't want them to find out like that. I should have told them," he sighed, starting the engine. "Go ahead, tell me I told you so. I know you're dyin' too."

"I'm not gonna do that. Though I really hoped it had gone better. Though I didn't expect **that**."

"They shouldn't have dragged you into this. This was my tale to tell and you kept my secret because I asked you. The very idea that you'd be Max's mother . . . ."

Cassandra felt strangely hurt by that comment, though she wasn't certain why. "That certainly was a weird conclusion to leap to, but it's been a weird day."

He glanced over at her quickly before concentrating on the traffic. After he'd merged safely onto the road he said, "well, I suppose that you're so good with him that it would be a honest mistake for strangers to make. But they should know that you'd never just move halfway across the country from your child. That really annoyed me, Cassie. They should know you better than that by now."

And Cassandra's heart suddenly swelled again and tears pricked her eyes. Luckily he couldn't see them. She just nodded. "You're right. But it's been a weird day. And you know how Ezekiel is. Conspiracy theories are his life."

Jacob just gave an annoyed grunt and went back to concentrating on traffic. On a red light before his place, he sighed. "I'm not lookin' forward to this. But I made my own bed. And I owe it to Max to face the music like a man."

"I'm pretty sure that's part of being a parent eventually." Cassandra said gently. She'd probably never know herself, the tumor in her head made that impossible. And it was the tumor that reminded her that she needed to step back from the Stones. She couldn't let them get too close, only to hurt them in the end. But her own selfishness kept her in their lives anyway.

Max had dosed off during the drive, exhausted by the outburst and crashing from the sugar. Cassandra had gotten a text from Baird saying they'd stopped off for a drink and would be a little bit longer than a half hour. That was fine with Jacob who'd been having a harder time than he expected getting Max settled.

He'd hoped the little boy would just want to go to bed after sleeping in the truck. But that was not the case and he was back to wound up.

"I really don't want to have them upset him again," he sighed to Cassandra as a text came through that their co-workers were down in the lobby and heading up.

"I'll stay in here with him," Cassandra offered. "Unless you need me . . . ."

Jacob looked relieved. "Actually this is the best way to help me. This is my tale to tell. Thank you, I really don't know how to thank you some days."

Cassandra smiled and put a hand on his arm in support as his buzzer rang. "You do. Good luck."

"Thanks." And Jacob turned and headed out of Max's room.

Cassandra clapped her hands. "How about a round of Candyland?"

* * *

"Where's Cassandra?" Baird asked after Stone had ushered them into his living room.

"Max is still a bit wound up, so she's playing with him."

"And Max is your son's name?" Baird seemed to have been designated as the one to ask all the questions while Flynn looked around his apartment, doing his usual poking and prodding. Flynn had never been to the apartment and the others had only a few times.

"Yeah, Maxwell after his granddad. We usually call him Max."

"Now we know why you stopped playing host, mate," Ezekiel said as he looked in distaste at the assortment of books, toys and clothes that littered the living room. He pushed a few aside to sit down. Baird slapped Flynn's hands as he was rummaging through a bookshelf and sent him to take a seat. She remained standing, facing Stone, who also stood.

Baird was thoughtful. "Your father's name is Isaac according to your file. So Maxwell was named after your . . . ."

"Ex-wife's father." Stone internally sighed at himself, was he going to be short with all of his answers?

"You're married?" Ezekiel exclaimed.

" **Was** married. You know thus the ex? And by the way, I still cannot believe you! Why on earth would you think Cassandra was his mother?"

"I told you it's genetically impossible . . ." Flynn's voice was cut off by Baird's glare.

But Jacob was mad about the insult toward his friend and decided to have it out. "I thought you'd know her better than that. Does Cassandra in any way seem like the kind of person who would go halfway across the country from her child? Or just leave her child behind to work for the Library? Even if she didn't have the tumor? And do you realize that the tumor . . . ." Stone stopped talking, thinking about what he almost blurted out. He wasn't sure Cassandra couldn't hear him.

"Well mate, you might have left your kid behind . . . ." Baird stood in front of Stone before he could go for Ezekiel.

"Stop it. Stone's right by the way, Ezekiel. Cassandra wouldn't do that. So let's just get off that train of thought right now. And you can explain why she knew about your son when the rest of us didn't later. Actually I'm curious as to why your marriage and child was not in the file. I read your file."

Stone shrugged. "Actually I'm kinda surprised. Especially since I submitted a copy of my will with the paperwork Charlene had us fill out."

"Your will? What do you have that needs a will?" Jones asked.

"Jones!" came from Baird.

Stone rolled his eyes. "I have some land in Oklahoma . . .you know that's not even the point. Plus he's my life insurance beneficiary. But since you didn't seem to have seen that in my file . . . ."

"Well the Serpent Brotherhood was going after potential Librarians," Flynn mused. "The Library may have been protecting Stone's family by omitting them from the file."

They were all silent for a moment and Stone said softly, "and for that I'm grateful. And honestly guys, I didn't quite mean for this all to happen like this. At first it wasn't an issue, Max was livin' with my ex back home. I used the Back Door every weekend I could to see him. They were used to me traveling for jobs, so it was normal routine for him."

"But he's here now," Baird pointed out. "What happened and where is his mother?"

Stone took a deep breath. "Josie, that's my ex, she was seein' this guy Chuck. I was gettin' concerned cuz she changed, you know?"

Baird, who knew more of the world than anyone should, nodded her head, understanding where he was going. The men didn't, but Baird raised her hand and motioned toward Stone to continue.

"I heard rumors that he might have been hittin' her but I couldn't prove anything. So since I was late for Christmas, I went straight to their place to see my son. And Chuck was about to hit him."

Behind him, both Flynn and Ezekiel gasped. Ezekiel whispered something about no wonder the rug rat was crying.

"Chuck ran and if I didn't have a four year old clinging to my knees I would have beat him to hell. I took Max to my sister's and told Josie that was it. I was takin' him. We have joint custody and I only needed her permission to take him out of state. That's when I knew Chuck was hittin' her. But all she did was tell me to take Max and not look back. Max's bright and I think she knew that there was more to me than I ever let on to her. I want her to come here with us, Max needs his mama. But even though she's safe and away from Chuck now, her head ain't ready to leave. So when I called in sick at Christmas, I was settlin' Max in here."

"Stone . . . ." Baird sighed. "Look, I feel horrible about Josie and about Max. But you do realize that . . ." Baird looked annoyed. "You took chances Stone! I'm your Guardian. Had I know you had a child, I never, never would have let you take some of the chances you have. I kept you around in Slovakia because you could fight, I let you help me be bait for a Minotaur! I couldn't live with myself if I'd left that sweet child an orphan."

"Not to mention the death rate of Librarians," Flynn said softly from the couch. "Stone, we know you have trouble trusting people. But the Library doesn't often pick people with families for a reason."

"Are you gonna fire me?" Stone asked.

Ezekiel hadn't spoken but he looked wide eyed at Flynn, his mouth opening. And Baird shook her head.

Flynn smiled. "The Library chose you, my friend. So no. But your Guardian is going to change how she handles you. Like it or not. And trust me, I didn't like it either. But the Library knew what it was doing when it chose all of us. Even Jones."

"Hey!"

"I'm real sorry, Baird. Honestly. I just, like I told Cassandra once, I was overwhelmed. I suddenly was the only parent to a child who was far away from his mama and the only home he's ever known. I was just trying to keep my head above water and take care of him and the job. I wasn't sure what happened to the paperwork I left with Charlene so there are instructions in an envelope in Jenkins' care. My will, my life insurance, contact information for my sister and Josie."

Baird nodded. "Well, at least you did that much." She took a deep breath. "This job has been weird for all of us and you were trying your best. So now we all know the truth. But like Flynn said, there are going to be changes. No more major risk taking for you, mister. And I'm sure the Library will agree with me."

"So how does Cassandra know?" Ezekiel asked.

"That's a really good question, Jones," Baird added.

"Cassandra does volunteer work with children who have been removed from abusive situations. I enrolled Max in her program. I didn't know she volunteered there and she didn't realize Max was mine. They got very attached to each other. And then one day, well it was a bit like what happened right now. We ran into each other in the grocery store and put two and two together. This has nothing to do with her, she kept my secret only because I asked her too. She's told me many times to tell the rest of you."

"Huh," said Baird. "Well that explains some of the whispering you two are always doing."

"And at that STEM fair when I heard you two talking about sitting. You were talking about baby sitters. So how long have you been dating?"

"Dating? What? Jones, no. We're just friends."

"Uh-huh. You do realize that like you were totally playing happy family right? If you're not dating her then . . . ."

"Jones," Stone growled. "We're friends, best friends probably. But that's all. Max's mama isn't here and Cassandra loves spending time with him. It's good for all of us. So drop it, okay?"

"Yeah," Ezekiel sniffed but fell silent for now.

"Well it's good that things are good now between you and Cassandra," Flynn offered.

"Right, on that note, I think we're going to go for the night. But we'll be talking about making some changes first thing on Monday okay? It's been a damn long day and I want to go home."

"Yeah, and Baird? I'm really glad you're okay."

She quirked a smile at him and patted his arm. Then she ushered Flynn and Jones out of Stone's apartment.

He leaned against the door briefly as it fell shut behind them. He never realized before how much being honest made his stomach roll. Or maybe it was having had ice cream for dinner.

He walked back toward his son's bedroom. Cassandra was sitting on the edge of the bed, where Max was curled up asleep. She smiled when she saw him and got up and joined him in the hall.

"How did it go? He just fell asleep," she whispered. " We put some music on in case it got loud again, I heard Baird once or twice but otherwise it kept him calm."

"Baird was understandably upset that she let me take unnecessary risks. I think I'm gonna be benched on fightin'," Jake sounded sheepish. "But it went better than I thought." He decided to leave out Ezekiel's comments.

"Well, I should probably head home."

"Hey, you want a sandwich? My stomach says it needs real food."

She smiled. "Actually that sounds perfect."


	8. Chapter 8

On Monday morning, Stone was and wasn't looking forward to going into work. On the one hand, he no longer had one secret weighing on him. Having his co-workers know about his child care situation would make things so much smoother all around. On the other hand, he wasn't looking forward to the talk with Baird that was promised.

Baird was waiting for him when he arrived, holding out a cup of coffee. "Let's go have a chat."

He nodded, taking her offering and followed her to one of the work rooms.

Stone assumed Baird would break into a lecture but instead she pulled up a stool at the work table and motioned for him to do likewise. And for a while, she didn't say anything just sipped her coffee in silence, he eventually doing the same.

Finally, just slightly irritated with her silence, "Baird?"

"I'm gathering my thoughts and deciding how best to do this," Baird sighed. "Just when I'd figured out exactly how to handle you guys, you throw this into the mix."

Stone nodded. "I realize that."

"Look Stone, I didn't know your situation but you did. And you've taken unnecessary chances. I expect a certain amount of that behavior out of Jones because he thinks he's invincible and Cassandra because she thinks she's expendable. . ." Baird didn't miss the look of pain that briefly crossed Stone's features but she continued her train of thought. "But you, like I said, you know you have a kid at home. That should have kicked in your self-preservation instincts."

Stone bit his lip but said, "it does. More than you realize. It's just . . . ."

"Just what?"

"I compartmentalize, Baird. I've done it my whole life. I had to. I know none of you understand why, but just believe me when I say I had to do it to survive. Art historian, that was one box. Oil rigger that was another. Husband and father. And then . . .well Librarian became an entirely different box. I'm so used to doing that, that it became second nature. Librarian Stone is all about the job and even though Max is always, always in my thoughts, my actions don't always indicate that. I'm tryin' Baird, but you gotta understand this is as hard for me as it is for you."

Baird took another sip of her coffee, understanding crossing her features. "I get it. I actually should have realized that about you. And Cassandra probably would try to keep you grounded, but she was sworn to your secret?"

He nodded. "It's not that she hasn't . . . ."

"Expressed the same worries?"

"Yeah, that's a good way of puttin' it."

"Well now that we all know, we'll make sure we keep you focused. I'm certainly reevaluating what we need to do. And don't worry, you're not going to be grounded. I know what you're good at. But again we're concentrating on your brain first. You're good in a fight, but you'll be even better now that we know to keep your head in it. And having a reminder of what you have at home? I've seen that work wonders."

Stone smiled, "is that all you wanted to talk to me about?"

"Mostly, yeah," Baird said. "I have an idea of how to proceed and how to best approach an idea Flynn had over the weekend. Don't worry, it'll all work out."

"Well, that's a relief. I was kinda afraid you were gonna yell at me."

"I'm a bit disappointed in you, Stone, but other than that. . . ."

Stone couldn't quite hide the expression that crossed his face. But Baird was surprised that it was less shame than resignation. She was also quite certain that he wouldn't confide in her over why exactly that was. So she tried a different tact.

"Are you okay? I mean, I'm sure you're overwhelmed. But if you need to talk . . .I know you have Cassandra but sometimes you need a different ear. Now that I can put the pieces together, I can see you're treading water. I had been concerned the job was too much."

Stone had moved to get up but he slid back in the chair. He knew he should just tell Baird it was all under control. That was how he always handled things. Everything was okay, everything was fine, he had this. But her face held no judgment, only concern. He'd come to feel a connection to the woman, a totally different one than he had with Cassandra. Cassandra . . .he couldn't even go down the road with how he felt about her. Not if he didn't want to lose her completely. But his feelings for Baird were clear cut. What had started as respect had gradually turned into an almost sibling like bond. It was this connection that caused him to decide to open up to her.

"It's not the job, though you know, I think we all are treading water there."

She tilted her cup toward him with a smirk. "I hear ya, I mean I died the other day."

"Don't joke about that."

She nodded, "go on."

"It's just . . . ." And he scratched the back of his neck and just went for it. "It's being both parents to him. It's far tougher than I ever imagined. Josie . . .well there are reasons why we ain't married no more. But all in all, she was a damn good mother to him. Even when she got in with the wrong man. And even now she's tryin' to be a good mother. She wants him to have everything, you know? She thinks I can give it him. But I'm not so sure about that. I was always more a traditional father . . .well no . . .I tried to be more there for him than my old man had been. But that ain't sayin' much really. I was workin', tryin' to provide. And now? I'm still not there for him the way I'd like. "

"Well," Baird said gently. "I can't say that I'm any sort of expert at parenting. And I don't really know Max outside of seeing him for those few minutes. But until we got loud and scared him? That was a happy little boy. Your apartment is full of happy little boy. It's obvious that you love him very much. You're doing your best. You said you put him in a program? That's how he met Cassandra?"

He nodded. "I briefly dated a single mom in my building. We kinda realized that was going nowhere very quickly but we stayed friends. She knows a lot about raising a kid in Portland so she helped me get him in a lot of things that have helped him adjust. I watch her kids when I can and she watches him when she can. Cassandra has a friend who has a son Max's age, so she babysits quite a bit. Cassandra has been a big help, of course. But you know, she's here too so . . . ."

"What is the real story with you and Cassandra?"

"There's no story, Baird. She loves Max and Max loves her. It's good for him to have her in his life. That's it."

"Stone . . . ."

"Baird . . . ."

"It's amazing, Jacob Stone. For someone who made a career out of lying, you're having a really difficult time convincing me that you and Cassandra are just friends. Or are you lying to yourself?" Stone blinked, irritation rising on his face but Baird wasn't the least bit scared of him. "I'm right, aren't I?"

They stared at each other for several moments and finally Stone caved. "I can't, Eve. I can't be anything more than friends with her."

"Because of her tumor? I suppose I could see why you wouldn't want to get Max . . . ."

"Nothing to do with that. "

"And it's not Max because he loves her."

"It's me? Alright? I will break her heart. I can't . . . I can't talk about it."

"Oh, Stone."

Stone looked at her, pain and despair crossing his features. He bit his lip, looking like he was going to tell her more. But finally he just shook his head, got up and walked out of the room.

Baird shook her head and rested her chin on her hand in thought. She had a feeling she knew what Stone's issue was. But only time was going to change his mind. Until then, she was going to have to be there for both of her friends. Because she had a feeling that more than one heart was going to get broken before they even began.

* * *

A much more composed Stone joined Cassandra and Jones in the main Annex room on Flynn's request a few hours later.

"Colonel Baird, the graduation gifts I believe are on your desk," Flynn said with a grin.

"So what are you kickin' us out? You just said you weren't gonna fire me."

"They were gonna fire you?" Cassandra asked, surprised, Jacob hadn't told her that last night.

"No! Of course not, I'm pushing you. Out of the nest. It's time to fly. I'm graduating you."

"We had Jenkins make up small versions of the clippings books. Every day a new mystery," Baird smiled, handing them off to Flynn.

"Different ones?" Stone asked.

"Yes! But don't think the Library hasn't taken into account your situation, Stone," Flynn winked handing him his clippings book. "Team up on some, split up on others, come and get us if you need any help. But not too much help, that would be disappointing."

After assurances from both Flynn and Baird that they'd be okay(and a reminder from Baird to Stone about using his brain before his fists), the three new Librarians were left alone with their clippings books.

Jones proclaimed that despite his many feats of "awesomeness" that it was time to take a well earned vacation before he took a crack at his book.

Stone bit his lip. "Well Max has been askin' to see his mama. So maybe I should swing back home for a couple of days and let her visit with him." His tone was reluctant though. It wasn't that he wanted to deny Max a chance to see his mother, but going home right now just didn't sit right with him.

Cassandra looked a little crestfallen. "Well, my family and I aren't really, well you know. And if you're taking Max to see Josie, then he isn't going to be needing me for a few days. I guess I'll try a case."

She opened her book, it admitting a glow like it's parent book. The case looked really tricky and she wouldn't mind some help with it.

"This is a tricky one. Deep breaths." She smiled nervously. "Gonna have to research this before I go."

"Really? Where ya . . . ." Stone stopped himself, he needed to let her go. He needed to take Max to Oklahoma. He needed to do a lot of things but instead . . ."where ya going?"

"Lima, Peru."

Behind him, Ezekiel was wishing her luck, but the only one in Stone's focus was Cassandra. He needed to let her go and this would be the perfect opportunity to put distance between them. He'd grown too attached as it was. But her eyes were begging him to go with her. He wasn't sure he could refuse.

She couldn't keep doing this to him. She told herself that she needed to push him away. She wasn't Max's mother and she wasn't Stone's wife. Or girlfriend. Or anything really. This was the perfect opportunity to put some much needed distance between them.

So she finally turned away and headed out of the room. He couldn't even bear to watch her go, resolutely turning his back to her.

Until he felt Ezekiel brushing past him heading off after Cassandra. And he was damned if he'd let them go off by themselves. They'd get into trouble.

He tore after them and after getting into another petty argument with Jones, Cassandra finally showed him the case.

He whistled. "Okay, maybe I will take Max to Oklahoma for a few days after all."

"You're not coming with us?" Cassandra sounded alarmed.

"I am. I'm just thinkin' I won't be able to leave him with a sitter that long. He'll stay at my sister's and see Josie."

"Oh, yeah, that makes sense. I never really thought about long term care."

"Yeah," Jacob sighed. "This is why I wish Josie would just come out here," he grumbled. "I'm gonna head home and make some arrangements. Oh . . . ."

"Oh?"

"I was just assuming Back Door . . .but I don't know . . . ."

Ezekiel rolled his eyes. "Okay, while you two sort out your domestic situation, I'm going to go sort out the technical stuff for this. Text me when you're actually ready." He stalked off in the other direction.

Cassandra rolled her eyes at his back. She turned back to Stone, "well you know what you'll have to do first."

"Talk it over with Jenkins." Stone groaned, "oh boy. Not lookin' forward to this."

Cassandra giggled. "He's not that bad. I'll come with you."

"Now you're talkin' to me like I'm 4." Stone grumbled, but he fell into step with her as they headed back toward the Annex and Jenkins.


	9. Chapter 9

The talk with Jenkins went about as well as Stone had imagined. However, despite the caretaker's grumblings, he had agreed to allow Stone to take Max through the Back Door. Flynn had wandered in during the talk so Stone and Cassandra had also gotten the Head Librarian's permission to have Max inside the Library. Because of his age, Baird and Jenkins had strongly suggested he be restricted to only certain areas and be supervised at all times. Flynn honestly didn't see the problem but he was overruled by the others. Stone himself was more than happy to take the restrictions, the idea of Max running free in the Library actually terrified him at the moment. When the boy was older, they could reevaluate the situation.

Today was the day. Baird and Flynn had left the Library on their own adventures. Ezekiel was waiting rather impatiently for the case in Peru. Cassandra was on hand to say goodbye to Max while Jenkins was setting up the Door to deposit Stone father and son near his sister's home.

Max, wide eyed, was standing in the middle of the Annex with his _Thomas The Tank Engine_ suitcase all packed for his trip.

"Now remember," his father was saying to him. "Everything that happens is our secret, right?"

Max nodded but bit his lip. "You and Andra said so. But lyin' is wrong, Daddy."

Jacob knelt down to get to eye level. "You're right. It is. But sometimes secrets are good things," Stone bit his own lip in thought. "Like surprise parties or what you got for someone for Christmas. Right? Those are good secrets."

Max nodded his head. "Yeah. So this is a good secret?"

Cassandra joined Stone in front of Max, nodding her head. "Yep, the very best secret ever. Only special people like us get to know it."

That seemed to get through to Max and his eyes lit up. "Really?"

"Really," Cassandra reached over and hugged him. "Okay, now I'm gonna say goodbye to you and I'll see you in a few days. You have a good time with your aunt and your mom, okay?"

"Thank you," murmured Stone to Cassandra before turning to Max. "Okay cowboy, time for us to go."

Since Jenkins warned Stone about possible turbulence, he picked up Max and grabbed his suitcase with the other hand. They stepped through into what looked like a barn, Cassandra waved at them when they were safely through and then closed the door behind them. Her sigh as she did so much more audible than she would have liked.

"Are you quite alright, Ms. Cillian?" Jenkins asked her as she turned away from the door.

"Oh, sure. I'm just going to miss Max, that's all."

Jenkins only nodded and went off in search of tea. Cassandra sighed as he left. How was she ever going to distance herself from that sweet little boy?

* * *

Peru was not going well. That was an understatement, Stone thought as he stormed off to his hotel room after yet another argument with Jones. The three new Librarians had decided to stay in Lima instead of using the Door and the Library as home base like they usually did. It was one of Jones' few contributions that Stone had agreed with. They all wanted to prove to Flynn that they could do this on their own and what better way than to eliminate the possibility of running to him and Baird for help?

Stone had been running point on the mission even though it was Cassandra's case. As they'd looked into it further it seemed more one of their big clippings book cases, needing a little bit of all of their skills to solve. Cassandra had no problem stepping back and letting him be in charge. He was the oldest and had leadership skills, Baird had been subtly making him her second for months now. Plus it seemed like she'd been concerned with the health effects of juggling too much at once. Concentrating on her side of the mission was just fine with her.

Jones on the other hand, well he wasn't happy at all. Stone did have to admit that his own attitude wasn't helping. He didn't respect the thief at all. He'd respected Baird and Flynn from the get go and while he'd admitted that Cassandra lost his respect when she lost his trust, she'd very quickly regained it. She'd regained it the second she'd given up her heart's desire for someone else. It took a bit longer for his stubborn heart to catch up on the trust issues. But the lack of respect for Jones was mutual and they butted heads constantly.

Poor Cassandra was stuck in the middle, though she sided with Stone more often than not. Which didn't make Jones happy either. She was their common thread, she held them together. And while Jacob was happy that his best friend was on his side, he knew that Jones wasn't happy and considered it a betrayal of his own friendship with Cassandra.

Stone hadn't managed to get in the elevator before Cassandra caught up with him. She looked a bit out of breath as she grabbed his arm.

"Cassie, I need to cool down first before we tackle . . . ." But Cassandra looked really upset, so he softened his voice. "What's wrong?"

"He's leaving."

"Jones? Jones is leaving?"

She nodded. "He said he'd had enough of all of this and that we'd have to do this on our own. Then he ran off."

"Toward the Door?"

Cassandra shook her head. "Looked like the taxi stand."

"Probably heading to the airport, did you try calling him?"

"He won't pick up."

Stone sighed heavily. "If he's not pickin' up for you, he sure as hell ain't gonna do it for me. I think we're just gonna have to let him go. When he's cooled off, he'll be back in the Library."

"Do you think he'll be okay?"

Jacob nodded. "One thing about Jones, he's been takin' care of himself for a really long time. He'll be fine. The Library will call him home when he's ready. We'll just have to finish this without him."

Cassandra looked downcast and worried, but she nodded. They agreed to meet up in the morning and went their separate ways. Since the time zone in Peru was the same as Oklahoma, Jacob decided to check in on Max when he got back to his room, knowing that speaking to his son would improve his mood considerably.

It had, at least for a while. Everything was going well, Max was having a good time playing with his cousins and his friends. Josie had been happy to see her son, though she and Jacob had decided it would be better for the boy to stay at his aunt's during the visit. Jacob had been careful about telling Max about where he really was, but assured him that both he and Cassandra were fine and would see him soon. Max had asked to speak to Andra but Jacob didn't want to bother her.

After saying good night to Max, Jacob laid on the bed. He'd been planning on re-thinking what they needed to do on the case. But other thoughts ran through his head.

Yeah, Jones had an attitude problem and tended to go off too much on his own. But Stone didn't respect him or his abilities and was too quick to naysay. Hadn't he learned that the younger man was way more capable than he appeared? He'd even saved Cassandra's life once by pretending to bail on her.

Stone sighed and couldn't help comparing himself to Baird. She commanded respect even from Jones. It took some time but she'd figured them all out. She'd admitted her initial mistakes with them and had expressed willingness to make things work. That's why she was a good leader. But she wasn't a Librarian, she was a Guardian. And that made her Guardian to all of the Librarians and Flynn needed her right now.

Maybe they were better on their own. He'd already let Jones down on this mission and Cassandra was so sad. He was letting her down too. He couldn't leave her now, though part of him felt like maybe he should. He was failing and he couldn't . . . he couldn't let her down again. But leaving tonight would be failing her. So they'd make a final attempt tomorrow. And if they failed again, she'd probably be glad to see the back of him for a while anyway.

He'd made a decision though. He was through letting her down. She couldn't see him fail again. So after they finished this case, he was going to go off on his own with his book. She'd understand. They were Librarians and Flynn hadn't expected them to team up on all of them. He gave them their own books for a reason.

He needed to stop clinging to her so much and this would be a perfect excuse. He'd still make sure Max saw her plenty and maybe they could still hang out once in a while. But they needed to take a break from seeing each other every day. It was better all around.

Stone groaned and grabbed the book he'd put into his bag. Much as he really wanted to hit the bar downstairs tonight, he really needed to keep a clear head for tomorrow. Even if he wasn't too sure that sleep was going to come.

And when it did, his dreams took two forms. Cassandra getting injured because he failed her. Or Cassandra in tears because he'd managed to break her heart.


	10. Chapter 10

The case in Peru was not going well. Cassandra had tried but she just wasn't able to keep the boys from bickering. Now Ezekiel was gone. She tried not to worry about him, after all Stone was right, Ezekiel could take care of himself. She imagined he probably was on his way back to Portland, after a stopover somewhere exotic where he spent someone else's money. Hopefully not hers nor Stone's, though she didn't think either of them had the kind of cash flow that Ezekiel would be interested in.

When she wasn't worried over Ezekiel though, she was concerned about Stone's behavior. He was hovering in a way that he'd never done before. Admittedly she'd been having headaches and nose bleeds at a frequency he wasn't used to. They'd become infrequent events since she'd come to work for the Library, something she'd chalked up to learning to control her visions and just maybe the magic in the place. She'd had a nose bleed in the Annex right before the Serpent ambush and she'd wondered if that had opened the floodgates. Or if the added stress of going out on their own for the first time as Librarians had made them worse. At any rate, Stone was visibly worried and she felt bad for snapping at him on the fourth time he asked if she needed a break.

She was trying to figure out a puzzle but she found herself realizing she was going to have to tell Stone good-bye. When and if (at this rate), they finished this mission, she was going to have to go off on her own for a while. She liked having his company but they'd become too attached. And his constant worry over her health was going to get them both into trouble. He was distracted and if she'd learned anything from Baird it was that distractions could be deadly.

It was the perfect excuse anyway, she needed to distance herself from him and Max. Even though it pained her to do so. She couldn't completely break the child's heart, he was too young to understand. So maybe she'd just cut back on her visits, see him a couple a times a month. Enough that she wouldn't hurt him but enough to start to create distance. The boy was bright enough to understand that sometimes adults got really busy. And he had other females in his life as well as a mother whom Cassandra hoped for Stone and Max's sake would soon come out to Portland and make their family complete.

Even if the thought broke Cassandra's heart. At least Max and Jacob would be happy and that's all she ever wanted for them.

"Cassandra?" Jacob's voice broke through her thoughts and the worry in it made her realize he'd been calling her name for a while. "Are you alright?"

"Yes," she said distantly as the puzzle fell into place in front of her. "I've got it figured out." She turned and smiled at him, at last some hope in this mess of a mission. "I can get us there."

There was a lot of worry in his expression as he ran his eyes over her but he nodded with a hint of a smile on his face. "Lead on."

* * *

The floors shook and dust fell from the ceiling and Cassandra was having a hard time staying upright. She had no idea where Stone was. They'd gotten separated when the rumbling started. But she was on the right track and she could end this. Solve the mystery, stop the earthquakes, get everything back to normal. She just had to concentrate. Block out the shaking and follow her instincts and the map in her head.

"Oww!" she shouted as debris fell on her, leaving a cut on her face. She brushed it off, she could tell it wasn't that bad, she'd worry about the bleeding later. "Six . . .seven . . .eight. Yes!"

She'd found it and moments later, it was all over. The rumbling stopped and she could hear birds chirping in the distance. Which meant that the entrance that had sealed behind them had opened. Now, she just had to find Stone.

* * *

The rumbling had stopped. That meant Cassandra had reached the center. Stone breathed a sigh of relief and started shifting rocks out of his way. They'd gotten separated and then a cave in had partially trapped him. It was easy enough once the rumbling stopped to move the rocks out of the way so he could get free, but it had been nearly impossible during the shaking.

"Stone? Stone!" Cassandra's voice broke through the stillness.

"Back here!" he yelled, hoping that he was loud enough for her to hear.

After a few minutes of her calling his name and him answering, she finally found him. She began moving rocks from her side and it was a matter of minutes before there was a space wide enough for him to squeeze through.

Cassandra was standing in front of him, breathing heavily, traces of fear in her blue eyes. She was covered in dirt and cobwebs and traces of dried blood, her dress and tights torn and yet Stone didn't think he'd ever seen anything so beautiful in his life.

He was dirty, his clothes torn, his hands bloody and she could see a bruise spreading across his shoulder where his shirt had torn away. She was never so happy to see him in her life. She'd been so scared.

"Are you . . . ."

"I was so . . . ."

They moved toward one another, catching each other in a tight hug. They held each other for a few moments, the only sound the racing of their hearts. Cassandra loosened the embrace and moved backward. He had intended to let go. He should have. He should have let her go, backed up and asked if she needed to see a doctor or if the first aid kit at the Library was fine. He should have.

She should have completed her movement. Backed out of his arms, told him that she was so glad he was okay. Asked him if he needed to see a doctor or if the first aid kit at the Library was fine. She should have.

Instead they looked into each others' eyes. She was caught almost like a deer in headlights at the intensity of his stare. There was no way to stop what happened next. And she knew she went willingly when his hand found her cheek and his lips went over hers.

It wasn't a gentle kiss, not a sweet one. Not the way he would have wanted to kiss her for the first time. This was desperate and passionate. Her mouth opened almost immediately and he took the opportunity. He knew this was the only time he'd ever kiss her. So he shut off the part of his brain that was screaming at him to stop this before he hurt her and poured out everything he had into the kiss. Desperation. Longing. Love. Desire. Loneliness. And so much pain.

Desperation. Months of longing, months of realizing that she'd been in love with him for a long time. She poured it out into the kiss, into his lips, his tongue as it touched hers. Moving closer to him, trying to get as close as she could. She knew it was wrong but she barely let either of them take a breath before she was sealing her mouth over his again.

He turned her, backed her into the wall, one of her legs had wrapped around his and his hand trailed almost of its own accord up her leg. She moaned against his lips and his brain snapped back online.

He broke away from her immediately, panting for breath. This time his movements were gentle untangling their bodies.

"I'm sorry," he murmured, not looking at her.

"Jacob . . . ."

"Let's just get back to the Annex, alright? We both need first aid."

Part of him wanted to run away, just away to clear his head and hide his shame for what he'd done. But he couldn't just leave her there. He might have walked a bit faster than maybe she wanted but Cassandra remained silent on the way back to the Door.

They didn't talk any more than was necessary for him to obtain directions to the Door from their location.

When they were safely back in Portland, she mentioned she was going to go find Jenkins and the first aid kit. He only responded that it was a good idea.

When she returned only a few minutes later, there was no signs of Jacob Stone to be found.

She tried texting him for a week before she gave up, never receiving an answer.

* * *

Safely back in his own place, freshly showered and bandaging his wounds, Jacob berated himself for the way he left. It was for the best, he argued. Let her be a little hurt and a lot angry now then to be broken hearted when it came to it's inevitable end. When he failed her and broke her, just like he'd done ever other woman in his life.

And for himself as well. Because unlike the majority of those women, he actually loved Cassandra. Loved her. He couldn't deny that any more. Which is why he couldn't do that to her. She'd been let down, left behind and disappointed far too much in her life. He couldn't add himself to her list.

He could handle heart break. He'd had his heart broken so many times that it was second nature to him now.

She'd get over her confusion and anger after a while and they'd be back to friendly co-workers again. Instead of what would happen if he'd pursued his love for her.

Nothing good would have come out of that.

He did sigh as he thumbed through the _Snoopy_ and _Dora the Explorer_ Band-Aids in the first aid kit. Max would not be happy. But he was bright enough to understand that sometimes adults were busy. He'd find out some excuse to give him. It was time they did some distancing there as well.

It would be better for everyone.

He let a couple of days pass, Cassandra sent him texts that he left unanswered, though he read every one. One indicated that she'd decided to take a case but if he felt like talking she'd be in touch.

"Oh, Cassandra."

He called Jenkins about an hour later to make sure Cassandra had indeed gone and to make arrangements to get Max from Oklahoma.

Max had been too excited to see his father and tell him all about the visit to notice at first that Cassandra wasn't there.

It was not until the next day that the boy started asking for her.

"She promised she'd see me, Daddy," Max pouted, breaking Jacob's heart. But he had to do this for his son's sake.

"I know, buddy, she did. But something came up and she's real busy. She misses you though." That part was true, Cassandra had texted him that, she was still trying to get through to him.

"Will she come see me when she's not busy?"

"Maybe? Hey, why don't we go down to the park, huh? Play catch?"

Luckily Max was still at an age that he could be easily distracted. And Jacob just hoped that he could keep him distracted long enough for them both to get over Cassandra.

Which was easier said than done. Especially when Cassandra's texts finally stopped after one last one hoping he and Max were well and saying she wouldn't bother him again. He should have felt relief but if he broke half a set of dishes while Max was at preschool it was because he was very clumsy that day and not because he was angry at himself for what he'd given up.


	11. Chapter 11

Weeks passed and the former LITs now worked on their own. With the exception of Jenkins, they managed to avoid seeing each other in the Library. They hadn't seen Flynn nor Baird either, which was a bit troubling to Cassandra, but the romantic in her liked that they at least were together. Finding romance all over the world no doubt. Then her heart would sink as she thought of the man that she loved who quite obviously didn't return her affections.

Although she wasn't completely sure he'd have kissed her quite like that if she really meant so little to him. It was that shred of hope that maybe Jacob was just overwhelmed and scared that she clung to. It helped her get through the day and sleep at night.

She managed to use the busy at work excuse to dodge invitations from Cathy, knowing that she likely was going to invite Jacob just like she had for months. She didn't want to completely lose her friend, so when Cathy said that Tim was taking their son out for the evening, she did say yes to a girl's night out.

"Did something happen between you and Jacob?" Cathy asked her as they settled in at the bar.

Cassandra tried to look confused. "No, why?"

"He's been dodging my invitations to come to dinner and he doesn't mention you when he picks up Max. In fact, Max hardly mentions you anymore."

Cassandra frowned but it was for the best. Cathy kept talking, not noticing her friend's face. "Did you break up? I mean, it would be good to know. Tim and I don't want to take sides, especially with the boys being such good friends."

"Break up?" Cassandra did look perplexed. "We'd have to have been dating to break up, Cathy."

"What? Oh!" Cathy blushed. "I'm so sorry, we just thought . . . ."

Cassandra shrugged. "We're just friends, we've just not been able to see much of each other lately. We used to work together but now . . ."she bit her lip trying to decide how to word this. "We've been put on solo projects. So we hardly see each other anymore. That's all. Just busy."

"Gosh, so is he seeing someone then? Is that why he's been dodging me? Though he's actually out with Tim and the kids tonight, so maybe it's just being busy."

Cassandra shrugged. Maybe Stone was seeing someone else. She was sure Cathy would have mentioned if Josie was actually in town. She had a feeling Stone was dodging Cathy for the same reasons she was. But he'd made it clear that what they had was over. And she had no rights in his life any longer, not that she ever really did. So she changed the subject and Cathy luckily didn't bring it back around. Which was good because she was able to enjoy her evening and not think too much about Jacob.

Sometimes she'd still pick up her phone when she saw or heard something on her missions or even in her daily life. Things that she would have told Jacob or shared with Max. Then she remembered and put the phone away.

All in all, it was probably better this had happened. She'd meant to distance herself from the Stones anyway. It was best for everyone. Even though it broke her heart. Better now than later.

* * *

Weeks passed. Jacob spent time with his son and wrote when he wasn't busy with cases. He did fine on them though quite honestly he missed the others. Cassandra especially, but he missed Baird and even Jones from time to time. They all worked together like a well oiled machine. Half the time he felt like he was missing a bit of a mission, like the clippings book only sent him to solve a section of a puzzle. Other times he was a bit bored, feeling like the book had purposely avoided danger. Every once in a while, he could have really used one of the others and their areas of expertise.

He found he was lonely. There was no one to go out for a beer with after a successful case. No one to bounce ideas off of. No one to trade clever quips or jokes with. And it got worse when he went home. Max was wonderful but after he went to bed, he felt the keen absence of his best friend. There was no Cassandra there more nights than she wasn't. No one to watch a movie with or play a board game or talk about everything or nothing with.

Sarah was seeing her guy quite a bit and he always felt like a third wheel, so aside from a coffee now and then, he hardly saw her.

Cathy kept calling and inviting him to dinner. He knew she'd be inviting Cassandra as well, she always had. So he made excuses. But he didn't want to completely alienate Tim and Cathy, he liked them and their sons were best friends. So when Tim called him and asked him if he wanted to head out to the suburbs to check out a minor league baseball game with the kids, Jacob said yes.

"We haven't seen much of you lately," Tim said when Jacob returned with the beer he'd gone to get. The boys were engrossed in the antics of the team mascot.

"Been real busy," he took a sip of his beer. "Between Max and work, things have been crazy. Plus I took him back to visit his mama in Oklahoma so there was the travelin'."

"And things are okay with Cassandra? Look man, I don't want to pry. But if you and Cassandra broke up, you know Cathy and I don't want to take sides."

Jacob was lucky he'd swallowed his beer. Were his feelings for the redhead that obvious? First Sarah, now Tim. "Cassandra ain't my girl, she never was." And he really really hoped his friend couldn't see what a punch in the gut admitting that out loud was.

"Really? Okay, I guess we got that wrong."

"We're just friends. We worked together but . . ."Jacob took a sip of his beer to get his story straight. "There was some reorg and now we're on separate projects. I hardly ever see her any more, honestly. She's just real busy and so am I."

Tim looked at him for a long moment and Jacob was pretty sure the other man could see right through him. But all Tim did was nod and turned his attention back toward his young son who was dangerously close to losing his hot dog.

Stone could make reasonable excuses as to why Cassandra wasn't around anymore to his friends, to Max's sitters and even to himself after a fashion. But the one person who was starting to not buy his stories was Max.

A month and a half had passed since Peru. Only so many baseball outings and time spent with James and trips to the park could keep him distracted.

Tonight Max had been asking for Cassandra more than normal. A new teacher at the preschool had red hair and for some reason that had increased Max's desire to see his friend. All afternoon and through dinner, no matter what Stone tried, Max wasn't happy. He cried, he ate dinner, but just barely. Jacob was near tears himself, not quite sure if it was from frustration or something else. Max had never been this bad before and Jacob really wished Josie were there. After dinner, the meltdown started up again and Jacob made a critical error by attempting to use the ice cream place as a bribe. The same ice cream place that they'd gone so many times with Cassandra. That just blew up into a full blown screaming tantrum.

"No! I want Andra! Wanna see Andra!"

"I told you, Max. She's busy."

"You're lyin', Daddy! Stop it! I want ANDRA!" And then Max stood up, looking years older, glaring at his father, eyes that a younger Jacob had seen staring back at him in a mirror after a fight with his own father. Jacob didn't stop him when the boy ran into his bedroom and slammed the door.

Jacob just stood after Max left, rubbing at the tears that were falling from his own eyes. _Why did I ever think I could do this?_ Failing again at parenting, just like he'd failed Max's mother. He shouldn't have lied to Max about Cassandra. He should have either told him the truth (or at least a version that a four year old would understand) or figured out a way for Cassandra to stay in touch with the boy. It wasn't that hard, Josie talked to Max at least once a week, more now that she'd figured out how to use Skype. He could have set something up like that with Cassandra, maybe getting Cathy's help so they could limit their own contact. He could have done a lot of things. But he hadn't. And now his son was paying for his mistakes.

He took a deep breath and stood outside his son's door. Max was crying and every sob broke his heart. He put his hand on the door handle and then turned away. There was only one thing to do. The only thing that was going to comfort Max was Cassandra. And he was going to have to get over his own stubbornness and do what was best for his son. He wasn't going to fail the boy again.

He hoped she wasn't on a case and he dialed her number instead of sending a text.

"Jacob?" Her voice sounded wary.

"Hey," Stone sighed. "Are you in Portland?"

"Yeah."

He winced. This was so unlike Cassandra to be so short with him. But he'd done this to her.

"It's Max."

Suddenly Cassandra's tone changed. "Is he okay? Is he hurt?"

"He's not hurt. But he's havin' a tantrum. He's askin' for ya and he's sobbin' and I can't calm him down. And I didn't mean to do this to him. It's all on me and I . . . ."

"That's not important right now. I'll be right there."

She was there in under 15 minutes. There was a bit of a long awkward stare when he opened the door but Cassandra went right to business.

"How is he?"

"Still cryin'. Not as loud as he was before. I told him you were comin' but he doesn't believe me right now."

She nodded and headed back to Max's room without another word. He followed her slowly and she didn't knock, just headed inside.

"I heard you were having a bad night," she said softly to Max who was curled up on his bed, his bear clutched in his hands, whimpering softly.

"Andra?" Suddenly the world was sunny again for his son and Jacob turned away from the door and let Cassandra spend some time with Max.

A couple of hours later, Cassandra emerged from the back. Jacob put down the journal he'd been attempting to read.

"I got him put to bed, he should be okay," she said softly. "I'll just be going."

"Cassandra . . . ."

"What?"

"I just . . ."Jacob shuffled his feet and rubbed the back of his neck. "I just think you and Max should spend some time together. If that's okay."

She nodded. "I'd like that. I've missed him and well, it's apparent he's missed me. I'm not on a case, so how about I pick him up from preschool tomorrow and take him out like I used to?"

"Yeah, he'll like that. I'll let them know you're coming when I drop him off in the morning."

"Good," Cassandra nodded. Then she headed toward the door without another word.

"Cassandra?"

"Yeah?"

"Uh, thank you. Drive safe."

Was that a hint of an eye roll? But all Cassandra said was "you're welcome" as she headed out the door.

 _Well, that wasn't awkward at all._ A whole lot like the early days sharing custody during his and Josie's separation. By the time the divorce was final things had been cordial but those early days . . . . Well, it was going to be awkward as hell but he loved his son and he couldn't bear to hear him cry like that. Never had been able to, never really would.

He and Cassandra would just have to work out some way of her spending more time with Max while limiting their own contact. It was for the best all around. Cassandra had been nothing but warm about Max, but almost icy toward him. Which was all his own doing and what he'd wanted after all. So why did it hurt so damn much?


	12. Chapter 12

It was a couple of weeks after Max's tantrum. Max was happy enough seeing Cassandra but he sometimes looked a little confused when he went off alone with her every time. He'd been used to the three of them spending time together. So one afternoon after Cassandra had dropped Max off at the door, with a hug for Max and barely a look at his father, Max finally asked.

"Daddy?"

"Yeah, cowboy?"

"Are you and Andra not friends no more?"

Jacob sighed. He'd been waiting for the question. And he knew he couldn't lie to his son any more. He sat down on the sofa and pulled the boy onto his lap.

"Cassandra and I . . . ." This was like explaining the divorce all over again. Though Max had been so little then. "We . . . ." He bit his lip, his son's confused and concerned eyes staring at him. "It's hard to explain because it's a grown up thing. But I guess you can say we aren't friends anymore."

Max whimpered. "I know, buddy. Believe me, we both are sad about it. But it's nothing to do with you. Both of us love you, okay? She's still your friend and I want her to be. But it's gonna be a lot like me and your mama, okay? You spend time with her and I won't be able to come along. It'll be okay, though, alright?" He kissed his son's cheek and hoped another tantrum wasn't going to start.

But instead of anger, Max looked sad. And Jacob was pretty sure he looked sad too because the next thing out of Max's mouth was, "you miss her, Daddy?"

"Yeah, I do. But it is what it is, okay?"

Max's lip quivered but he just threw his arms around his father's neck and hugged him. And Jacob hugged back, taking the comfort. Maybe Max could tell how much he missed Cassandra. But he didn't need to know it was like a physical ache and sometimes it was hard not to chase her down the hallway and pin her against a wall and kiss her senseless before dropping to his knees and begging for her forgiveness.

"She's sad too, Daddy," Max whispered. "But I'll just have to hug her more then, huh?"

"Yeah," Jacob said. "It always worked before. Now come on, tell me about what you did today."

He listened to Max's animated account of what he and Cassandra did while trying and probably failing to not miss her.

He really wished Baird was around. He could use someone to talk to. Ezekiel would not do. Jenkins, he could tell, did not wish to discuss his personal life. Flynn was well Flynn. But Baird, he could count on her. He missed her too.

* * *

A week later, he stumbled through the Back Door to find Baird seated at her desk, reading a file.

"Well, ain't you a sight for sore eyes," he grinned at her. "Where's Flynn?"

"I finally got him to come home and rest. Course I say rest and he decides to sleep for a week." She rolled her eyes, "I got antsy and decided to come in and check on you. But Jenkins said you were all on separate cases?"

"Yeah, it just worked out that way this week," Stone told a bit of a fib, he didn't want Baird worried about them when he really needed to talk to her.

She nodded, they did all have different clippings books for a reason. "So what's your case?"

"Oh," he rummaged through his bag, pulling out a document. "All wrapped up actually. Just need to give this to Jenkins. Hey, would you be up for a cup of coffee? I kinda need an ear. If you'll let me go get this secured and take a shower."

She smiled kindly. "Parenting again?"

"Among other things."

"Yeah, sure, I've got nowhere to be."

It was an off time of day, so things were relatively quiet in the coffee shop that the team frequented. They were tucked in a quiet corner and Baird was always amused that they both went for just regular coffee. Ezekiel liked to try outlandish concoctions, Flynn always went for the sweeter the better and Cassandra usually tea, though sometimes a cappuccino. But regular coffee for the two of them. She drank hers completely straight up black and he usually put sugar in his. Today he was absently stirring.

"Stone?" she prompted and again was amused. He was like a little brother to her but she'd never think to call him Jacob and he'd never call her Eve. It just was how they worked. "How is Max?"

Stone smiled fondly at his son's name. "Oh, he's fine." Then he looked down at his mug, "when he's not angry with me."

"What happened?"

Stone still was having eye contact issues, but she figured it was how he was going to be able to talk to her. He sighed heavily.

"Peru happened."

"Your first mission on your own. What does that have to do with Max? He went to Oklahoma to be with his mother. He didn't tell did he?"

"No, he was good as gold. He's mad at me about what happened after Peru. But yeah, Peru was a disaster, Baird."

She cringed. "Ouch."

"Jones and I were at each other's throats, he stormed off. He's fine now, whatever. But Cassandra and I . . . ."

"You guys fought? I thought all of that was water under the bridge. You were best friends . . . I don't . . . ."

"We didn't fight, Baird."

"Okkkayy," Baird drew the word out. "So what happened?"

"We kissed. Or I kissed her. Honestly it was all . . . I mean she kissed me back so . . . ."

"Okay, so kissing her is a bad thing now? Stone . . . come on, you all but admitted to me you had feelings for her."

His head went into his hands. "I thought it was a good idea . . . ."

"Stone, you're killing me. Just tell me what happened."

"I panicked. Broke off the kiss and told her we needed to go back to the Annex. Which was true, we both got banged up pretty bad, both of us were bleeding. I sent her off for the first aid kit and I . . . I left."

Baird sighed but just waited.

"She texted me for a week. Text after text. Asking what she did wrong. Asking if I was okay. Hoping that Max was. Just telling me about her day. And then finally she told me goodbye. I never answered a single one."

"Oh Stone."

"Max kept asking me where she was. I kept lyin' to him. Finally after a month and a half, he had enough of me. Full blown temper tantrum. And I had to call her. She came over but she was so cold to me."

"Do you blame her?"

"No. But now it's like the divorce all over again. She takes him, she drops him off. She might say hello to me. But I know she's upset, Max told me. He asked me just last week if we were still friends. And I had to say no. He could tell we miss each other. Damn Baird, I made such a mess of this."

"You did. I don't know Cassandra's side of this, so I can't tell if there's something she could have done. But, Stone, I have to ask why? I can't see you suddenly not caring about her. Or disliking her. You've always liked her, even when things were rough between you two. So do you hate her now? Not like her?"

This time Stone finally raised his eyes from his coffee mug and looked into hers. "I love her, Baird."

Baird's eyes widened but not at the confession. She had been pretty certain of the fact. But she had no idea why he was pushing away the woman he loved. And why there was so much despair in his eyes.

"Then why? You told me you'd break her heart . . . .oh Stone, just because your marriage didn't work . . . . Oh that's it isn't it? Plenty of people get divorced and go on to have successful relationships."

He shook his head. "All of my relationships fail. And it's all because of me."

"And did a single one of those women including your wife know you the way Cassandra knows you?"

Jacob shook his head. "Well. . .no. But that doesn't mean I won't still let her down. I couldn't bear to do that. Be yet another person whose hurt her."

"But you hurt her anyway."

"Better a little hurt now than a broken heart."

Baird smiled slightly but didn't bring up the fact that she was pretty sure Cassandra was heartbroken. Stone certainly was.

"Look, I can't change your mind. I don't know how things are gonna work if you and Cassandra are barely speaking, but that's another issue that I'm tabling for now. The thing is I can tell you're miserable. Max's miserable and Cassandra probably is as well. So I'm gonna give you some advice."

Stone nodded.

"I understand you have a son, so you have to think about what's best for both of you. But you need to think long and hard about why exactly those relationships have failed. And whose voice it is that keeps telling you that you'll let her down. Is it yours? Or someone else's? And then you need to talk to Cassandra. For your sakes and for your child. If you chose to not be with her, then you need to work out at least a cordial relationship. Like you ended up doing with your wife. Okay?"

She stood up and patted his arm. "Take care, Stone."

"Thanks, Baird."

It was a long night of soul searching for Stone after that. A great deal of thinking over his life and his relationships and most importantly about who he was now. He realized that he did want to be in a relationship with Cassandra and that it might not fail. But there was something very important he needed to do for himself first. He needed to talk to her. He needed to set things right about Peru and hope that she could wait for him until he was ready to be the man she deserved.

* * *

At their last outing, Max had offered to give her extra hugs. When she asked why, he said it was because he figured she was sad cuz she and Jacob weren't friends any more. "My daddy was sad too," the little boy had said. Poor little thing, it wasn't quite what was going on but he was only four. Besides she barely understood what had happened.

She wanted to just write him off, he was the one who'd run after all and shut her out. But when she'd dropped Max off, their eyes had met and there was just such a look of longing in his. So much like he'd looked at her before he kissed her. He'd tried too to say something but she'd mumbled an excuse and had all but fled from his building.

She couldn't completely blame him for the situation. Yes, he had the child, which meant that the ball was in his court. But she'd never been afraid to confront him before. Certainly not even picking the best places to confront him, like a labyrinth with a Minotaur breathing down their necks. Yet, she'd just said goodbye to him and left it. She could have taken the new door he'd opened and stormed in and demanded he explain why he left. But instead she'd iced him out.

And Max said his father missed her, was sad about it. Her head had thought _good, it was all his fault_. But it was a little hers too. She'd set out to push him away. Had told herself after Peru that maybe it was better this way.

But she loved him and she couldn't completely buy that he didn't at least partly return her feelings.

Cassandra had been in love before. Despite her parents' ideas about upbringing, Cassandra's nature was not to isolate herself. Her being an only child, her parents' strict rules and her own competitive nature had isolated her during her childhood and early adolescence. But she'd yearned for connections with people.

There had been a period in her early adulthood when she'd been reckless. Newly out of her parents' house, firmly believing that she only had a few years to live, she'd sown her wild oats. But it hadn't taken very long for her to realize that casual sex and one night stands were not satisfying enough for her. She yearned for something more. Even though she knew they could never end well.

She'd fallen into relationships, sometimes without even realizing it. Wanting to be with someone, wanting what others had, it was only natural. But when she'd realized she'd fallen in love, she always ended things before her partner could return the sentiment.

It simply wasn't fair to ask Jacob to allow her into his and Max's life. Even though, she was beginning to realize it was too late. But could she get past her own hang ups and love him despite her own lack of a future?

The thought was weighing on her that afternoon as she went to the Annex. As usual no one was around. Jenkins was puttering around somewhere but there were no signs of the men or Baird. She sighed, she missed them all.

She was sighing over her book when Jenkins wandered in. "Something amiss, Ms. Cillian?"

"Oh, nothing really." At his measured look, she softly said, "I was missing the others."

He nodded and walked around the table. "And by others, you mean Mr. Stone? He was here earlier with his offspring. I found it odd that you were not here given your fondness for the child."

"I had um things to do."

"I see," Jenkins said no more and went back to his work.

"Jenkins?"

"Yes, Ms. Cillian?"

"Do you ever get lonely?"

"Well, not with you lot constantly in and out of my Annex."

Cassandra cringed and backed up, looking back at her book. But Jenkins sighed to himself and stood next to her.

"In my life, I have from time to time sought out companionship. It's only human nature to seek it out. We're social creatures after all and bonds of friendship and love .. .ah well, they keep the soul warm at night. I've lived a long time, Cassandra. And I dearly miss the people who have touched my life, my dear friends, the ones I've loved. But I'd be a poorer man for never having loved them, no matter how fleeting their lives were compared to mine."

Cassandra put her hand on his arm. "Thank you, Jenkins."

He smiled briefly. "Off for tea, would you care for some?"

"Yes, please. Thank you."

She thought about what Jenkins had said for the rest of the day. Would Jacob's life be poorer for never having a chance to love her? Had she robbed her previous lovers of that chance? Her life was certainly poorer for not having explored that love. And her life had been richer from knowing these people: the Librarian, the soldier, the Knight, the thief and the cowboy and his little boy.

Sometime around 3am, she realized she needed to talk to Jacob. Tell him what that kiss meant to her and how she just had one obstacle to overcome before she could love him. If he could wait for her just a little longer.


	13. Chapter 13

A couple of days after his talk with Baird, Jacob got his chance to talk to Cassandra. She'd had Max for the day and he was waiting for their return. They were running late, but it wasn't an unusual occurrence. The two were prone to "just one more" and often lost track of time. It happened prior to Peru and he never worried. Cassandra would take good care of Max and if she ran into trouble she would call. His son was still the bond between them.

He'd been in the kitchen working on a grocery list when he heard an odd sound against his door. Less a knocking than a scuffling. Curious and wondered if it was the lady down the hall's cat again (it often got out and then confused and scratched at a variety of doors until it found the right one), he glanced through the peephole. And he had to laugh, he was still chuckling when he opened the door.

Max was sound asleep in Cassandra's arms and she was struggling with him and the weight of the bag she was carrying. Cassandra wasn't much shorter than him, but she was very slight and Max had just gone through a growth spurt. Plus the bag appeared to have more stuff in it than he'd sent her out with in the morning.

She shot him a look at his laughter, but it wasn't a cold or angry one this time, it was more of a "don't wake him" look. He reached out to take Max.

"I've got him," she whispered. "But can you take the bag?"

He nodded reaching for her shoulder. Neither mentioned the physical contact necessary for him to get the bag. He sent the bag on the sofa and then jogged down the hall in front of her to get Max's door. Between the two of them, they managed to get his jacket, pants and shoes off without too much of a fuss. The boy barely woke and was soon back fast asleep, Jacob tucking him in. It all seemed like they'd gone back in time to before Peru. Cassandra had gone to the living room to separate her things out of Max's bag and Jacob took a deep breath as he closed Max's door.

She had sorted things into her own purse, which she'd had stuffed inside the bigger bag. "I bought him a few things too, they're in the bag. Well, I guess . . . ."

"Cassandra? Would it be okay if we talked?"

"About what happened?"

"Yeah, we need to talk. But I understand if this isn't a good time . . . ."

"It's fine," she bit her lip, awkwardly taking a seat on the sofa.

Jacob ran his hand through his hair pacing the length of the living room. "I'm sorry."

"What for exactly?" Cassandra kept her voice pitched low due to the sleeping child but he could hear the anger in it. "For kissing me? For running away? For ignoring me? For keeping me from Max?"

He stopped his pacing, standing directly in front of her. "For everything but kissing you."

"Everything but kissing me . . . ."

"Cassie, I handled everything wrong. Absolutely everything. I am so incredibly sorry. The thing is, I wasn't sure how to handle the aftermath of that kiss and I panicked. I only hope you can maybe forgive me."

"Well . . ." Cassandra wrung her hands in her lap, she knew she wasn't completely blameless in the situation. " I could have confronted you. We both know I used to have no trouble calling you out on your behavior before."

The tiniest hint of a chuckle came from Jacob. "No, you certainly haven't. I was actually hoping you would. This coldness . . .it's not you, Cassandra and it . . .I guess I could have dealt with you yelling at me a lot better."

"You weren't the only one who didn't know how to deal with the aftermath. That was . . . ."

"A hell of a kiss."

She nodded. "Did you regret kissing me? You seem to not regret it right now. But immediately after?"

"I was more ashamed than regretful. I felt like I may have taken advantage of you. After weeks to think about it, I realized you weren't pushing me away."

"Far from it. But did it mean anything to you? Or was it just passion in the heat of the moment?"

Jacob sat down next to her on the sofa and reached a hand out to turn her head toward him. "It meant . . .I don't have words to describe it. I've always liked you Cassandra, but it's so much more than that now."

She nodded against his hand. "I feel the same way about you. But I have this feeling we both have buts."

He nodded. "All of my relationships fail." Cassandra opened her mouth but he shook his head. "Please just hear me out. I know that there are reasons for that. None of them knew me the way you do. But I kept pushing you away because I didn't want to hurt you like I did my ex-wife, my girlfriends. Until Peru happened and we were apart. I had a conversation with Baird not that long ago. "

"She's in town?"

"I don't think she is any more. She was only there that day and then she was gone. But anyway, afterward I took a long hard look at my relationships and thought about myself. The voice that I hear always telling me I'm gonna disappoint everyone."

"Jacob . . . ."

"The truth of it is, Cassandra, is that I don't like myself. I never liked who I pretended to be. I hated that guy. And I'm just now coming into who I am. I'm not comfortable with who Jacob Stone really is yet. It's so easy to hide under who I used to be, because like him or not, he was my safety net. It's cliché as hell, but I can't love you until I love myself."

He'd removed the hand he'd placed on her cheek, allowing her to leave if she chose to. She took a deep breath.

"I kept pushing you away because I didn't want you and Max to think of a future when I have none to give you."

"Cassie . . . ."

"It's been so selfish of me to keep being in that little boy's life when I know that. That's why I didn't confront you. I told myself it was for the best. Until I saw how upset Max was. And the other day, you looked at me like you just missed me so much . . .and it broke my heart. I had my own soul searching to do. Jenkins gave me some advice about how he didn't regret his friendships even when he lost them. But I'm so afraid of death Jacob. That's what caused me to do what I did. I'm not ready to go. And until I face that fear and let myself live, I can't love you either."

"What are we going to do?"

"Can you wait for me?" Cassandra asked.

"Of course, I can. The question is, can you wait for me?"

A tear ran down her cheek. She knew she was the one with the limited time. She got now that she was the only one who feared her future. Jacob Stone would take what she could offer him. She wished she could give him more. But she could wait for him. They could wait for each other. She reached forward and took both of his hands in both of hers.

"I can."

"And can you forgive me for being an ass?"

She grinned slightly. "Given a bit of time, yes."

"I should let you get home," Jacob sighed, not letting go of her hands.

"Can we at least go back to being friendly while we figure our own stuff out? I've missed you."

"Yeah, I'd like that. I missed you too. And I've kinda missed Cathy. I've been dodging her like crazy."

Cassandra laughed. "Yeah, me too. I heard you've seen Tim though."

"Yeah a bit, but it's not the same."

"So maybe next time I have Max you come with us? Provided you don't have a case."

"That sounds good."

They stared at each other, not quite sure what to do or say next. Cassandra did have one lingering question though she was pretty sure now that she knew the answer.

"And Josie?"

"What about Josie?" Jacob looked completely confused which confirmed things.

"I used to have this belief that you were still carrying a torch for her."

Jacob snorted. "No. I didn't. . .I cared for her but we didn't love each other. I suppose I may have said some things. . . . There was a time I suppose that I missed her because I was lonely. We had fun. If I'd never met you . . .we'd not have gotten back together, way too much water under that bridge. But the regrets of it not working out used to be stronger. Does that make sense?"

"You kept talking about wanting her here. But yes, I do get it. She's your son's mother."

"And that's why I want her here. He always had both of us. She's a really good mother and she gets him in ways I don't. I can't say that I don't still care for her and want what's best for her. She had it tough growin' up too. I think Portland would be good for her. But that's it. I realize I'm not quite ready for a relationship. But when I am, you're the only one I want."

"Thank you."

She looked like she was going to cry, he wasn't sure why. He did the only thing he could think of. He tugged on their still entwined hands.

"C'mere." And just like in Peru, when his lips met hers, she went willingly. This was the sweet gentle kiss he'd have preferred for their first kiss. It only lasted a few moments before they parted.

"We probably shouldn't make a habit of that. Not that I'm complaining about this kiss," Cassandra giggled.

"No, you're right. We can't jump into this not til we're good with our own stuff. Can't complicate it so friends only from now on. I just needed to . . .seal our deal I guess. Let you know that I do want to be with you at the end."

She smiled softly and nodded. "Yeah. Same goes for me by the way. I wanna be with you when we're ready." She sighed softly looking at the clock. "I gotta get home."

"Yeah, I gotta get back to my shopping list. Do you need help with your stuff?"

"Nah, I got it." She leaned over and kissed his cheek. "Night Jacob."

"Night Cassie."

* * *

They'd made Max very happy a couple of days later when they both went with him to the zoo. It wasn't quite the same friendship as before, both of them realizing they needed to give the other space. Max and Jacob dropped Cassandra back off at her place and they didn't eat dinner together. It was more like their friendship at the beginning when they weren't much more than friendly co-workers. Jacob knew that's the way it had to be, they had to work through their personal issues, they couldn't muddle things by getting too close. But he missed his best friend. He knew the only way to get her back though was to concentrate on himself.

But they didn't have much time to think or see each other for that matter. Both of their clippings books went crazy for three straight weeks.

"Max, this time I ain't lyin'. Daddy's been busy savin' the world, so that means so is Cassandra. We can call if you want? Last time I tried she was too busy to talk."

"Can we?"

Cassandra sounded out of breath when she answered the phone. "I'm sorry, I bet your book is goin' nuts too. But he don't believe that you're busy after last time."

Cassandra chuckled. "Put him on, I have a few minutes."

She talked to Max for a few minutes, assured him she actually was really busy just like his Dad had been. "I promise as soon as things settle down we'll go for ice cream, okay? I miss you both, but I gotta get back. Can you put your Dad on?"

"Yeah?"

"Quick question, how do you say 'it's just an atmospheric anomaly' in Russian?"

* * *

Jacob was glad as he was changing in the locker room after his last mission in Japan, that Josie's birthday was this week. The clippings book was not giving Cassandra a break at all and it barely was doing its usual consideration of his child care duties. He was down one babysitter with her being gone (and Jacob hadn't seen hide nor hair of her in three weeks) and he just couldn't keep burdening his usual crew. The clippings book must have known that Max was in Oklahoma or it never would have given him a case before he even finished the last one.

Soon he was in New York City, in the courtyard of a museum where he was supposed to be investigating a chess set. But he soon realized that there was a reason why the clippings book had gone off before he was done with one case. He watched with amusement as Flynn and Baird caught Jones in the act. Well at least Jones was still a Librarian even though he hadn't seen a sign that he was even around in three months.

Then there she was. He'd missed her and that outfit she was wearing was gorgeous. He tried to play it cool as he walked over and greeted the others.

But then she said his name, his first name, in front of the others. In a breathless tone like she's missed him too. So he winked at her. And even as he turned to greet Baird, the smile she gave him in return caused a tingle to roll up his spine.


	14. Chapter 14

If Jacob was honest with himself, he knew he could have texted Cassandra and got the information he needed and had the chess set in hand by now. But instead he found himself climbing the stairs to the weather station in order to see her for himself.

He hadn't felt this surge of happiness in a really long time. Probably the last time had been the day his son was born. They were all here in the building working together. That was pretty cool on its own, he'd actually come to miss working with the others despite what he'd tried to claim earlier. But after three weeks of barely any communication from her, Cassandra was there. The woman he loved, though he hadn't quite told her that, but she knew enough of his feelings. Better still, the feelings were mutual. They weren't ready to be together, but at this moment, he didn't care. He just wanted to look at her, listen to her voice, see her smile, maybe even make her laugh.

He couldn't help flirting with her. He didn't even try to stop himself. The look she gave him back was everything. Her eyes dancing with happiness and affection. _God he loved her_.

But then Jones had to walk in and everything fell apart. He sighed to himself as he went back down to the chess sets after saying goodbye to Cassandra. That old feeling of failure came back. He'd put the blame all on Jones again, when it was just as much his fault as the thief's. He was the oldest and he'd tried so hard to be the leader. But he wasn't Baird, he just didn't have her knack. So the old quarrel was back and once again he'd left Cassandra feeling like she was in the middle.

And he knew he'd chastise himself in the middle of the night for it, but he did find some pleasure in mocking Ezekiel over his failure with the Italian woman. Especially when they reached the weather station and found her with Cassandra.

The Italian had set her earrings on the table and Cassandra cast a glance his way as she adjusted the headphones on the other woman's head. She smirked at him and he had to keep from laughing out loud. Wouldn't want the Italian to notice. Ezekiel's mouth hung open during the whole exchange.

Stone was actually surprised that the worldly thief hadn't picked up the thing about Cassandra that he knew. Ezekiel was very close to Cassandra after all, even if it wasn't in the same way he himself was. She'd been fairly open about her sexuality with him, almost casually mentioning a girl she'd used to date on the same evening that she'd told him about an odd habit of an ex-boyfriend. He'd had expected to be surprised by this knowledge but he found he hadn't really been. It was just another part of what made Cassandra, well Cassandra. But now considering Ezekiel's reaction to this, Jacob felt himself yet again honored by Cassandra choosing to share herself with him.

In another circumstance, he might have been jealous of her flirting with someone else in front of him. Even if like in this situation, he knew it was all an act. But he and Cassandra had an understanding, a pact sealed with a kiss. She had given him the one thing that was most precious to her: time. She didn't need to tell him that she loved him, by giving him that one gift, he knew. No one else could come between them now. The only thing that could would be themselves.

He actually had to admit that watching Cassandra out play Ezekiel at one of his games was a bit of a turn on. That was his girl right there and he almost high fived her. But she had something she needed to show Flynn and so they raced downstairs to meet up with him and Baird. But even in their haste, she threw a playful wink his way as she tossed the Italian's phone number in a trash can.

But the playfulness ended the second that Cassandra had a chance to listen to her rendering. And the stakes got very high indeed when Flynn put together what was going on and Prospero had unleashed a powerful storm over the city before escaping.

* * *

Standing in the corridor of doors, Flynn had given instructions to Jenkins and Jones.

"Stone?"

"Yeah?"

"Take a knee," Flynn suddenly looked over at Baird and then at his co-Librarian. "By the way, where is your son?"

Stone swallowed. "He's in Oklahoma with his mama."

The two men exchanged a look and then Flynn nodded. He went on to explain what he needed Stone and Jenkins to do so that their plan could work.

Jenkins was already wearing a protective suit when Jacob brought the second of the mirrors to the hall.

"Ah, Mr. Stone, there's another suit in the upstairs broom closet. You might wish to don it."

"Right," Stone bit his lip. "Jenkins, how dangerous is this?"

Jenkins regarded him solemnly for a moment. "I have taken that envelope with the instructions about Master Maxwell and left it on Colonel Baird's desk. "

Stone breathed in and out. "Thank you, Jenkins." Then he turned to go.

"For what it is worth Mr. Stone, this is a good plan."

Stone nodded but didn't reply.

Time was short, he had no chance to call Max. But before he suited up, he looked at the lock screen of his phone which these days was a photo of Max that Cassandra had taken.

"I love you, cowboy. Daddy'll see you real soon."

He didn't know why though he was feeling so uncertain as he headed down the stairs. He was going to be fine. It was just gonna get a little hot. This couldn't possibly be any worse than Collins Falls. Though hopefully without anyone dying in his arms.

But his internal prep talk failed to stop the shaking. Thank god Cassandra was still there when he got to the bottom of the stairs. He needed to see her.

Though honestly she wasn't being very reassuring. She was right. They hadn't been fine. The cases hadn't been the same. Nothing had been the same. Even he and Cassandra had almost lost each other in those terrible three months.

He stared at her, he wanted so much to tell her he loved her. If he didn't make it back, he needed her to know that. But Jones was there and Jacob just couldn't utter those important words to her in front of anyone else. They were sacred and she deserved to hear them in private at the right time, when she was ready to hear them. Which left him unable to even speak.

"It just happens to people," Jones was saying and Jacob wasn't even sure what he was talking about.

"No! It doesn't. Not to us. It's not happening," the last was said fiercely and directed right to him.

He moved his head, realizing that he wasn't going to be able to stop the tears that had been threatening since he'd said goodbye to Max's picture. Then suddenly she was in his arms. He pulled her tight, just for a moment, gathering strength from her. She went to pull back and he brought their foreheads together.

He knew that Jones was there, so he said the only thing that he really needed to say to her that he was okay with Jones overhearing. "If anything happens, I need you to be there for Max."

She nodded, blinking tears away. "I won't need to be. But I promise."

He released her then, taking a deep breath. But to his surprise, most of his fear was gone. And in its place was some of that profound happiness he'd felt earlier.

His head lifted, his spine straightened. "I'll see you on the other side, Cassie."

"You better," she said with a small smile, answering his.

"Jones."

"Cowboy," the other man smirked and they bumped fists.

"All right. Let's go save the day."

Which they did, though Stone didn't escape injury. Though that was due to his own lack of sense in his celebrations after they'd stopped the storm.

* * *

Flynn and Baird seemed to be having some sort of a argument but they both eventually agreed to regroup in the morning. Baird had sensibly made the case that everyone needed to be fresh to face this new threat.

Before leaving, however, Cassandra had insisted on treating the burn on Jacob's hand. Given that it was an excuse to spend time alone with her, Stone didn't argue.

"You're not gonna make fun of me?" he asked as she gently cleaned his palm.

"Well," she smiled. "You were a bit foolish, but we saved the day, so I won't hold it against you. You are gonna have some fun picking up after Max though."

He laughed, then sucked in a sharp breath as the antiseptic hit his hand. "Ouch!"

"Sorry, trying to be gentle."

"I know, I know. Anyway, it's Josie's birthday so Max is spendin' a few days with her, so hopefully I'll be feelin' better before I have to pick him up."

"Ah," Cassandra carefully dabbed ointment over the burn then grabbed the gauze. "Well, that must have eased your mind a little."

Jacob sighed. "I did keep thinking at least he was with his mama if something happened. I don't know . . .this was nothing compared to some things I've done. Hell, some of the rig work was more dangerous than that. I don't know why . . . ."

Cassandra was silent, thinking, as she wrapped up his hand. Then she finished and brushed a kiss across the gauze. "There all done."

"Thank you Cassandra. For that and for the hug. I know Jones was there or I might have . . . ."

"I would have kissed you too," she said softly. "You do know . . . ."

"I do. And you know too. I couldn't say anything in front of Jones and I also feel like I don't have the right to tell you yet. Not until . . . ."

She shook her head. "I do understand. It's like saying it out loud is sacred."

"It is. And that we can't until we're ready to be together. And it's alright, Cassie. You didn't have to say the words to help me today. You gave me strength. You and Max. I kinda lost sight of that for a while. But the two of you and the work we do here, that's what gets me out of bed in the mornin'."

She smiled. "I missed everyone working together."

"I did too. We need to get back to that. Look at what we accomplished just now because we got our heads out of our asses and worked together."

Cassandra giggled. "Well we have a long way to go, but it's a start."

"Hey, I'm sorry by the way."

"About what?"

"Putting you in the middle between me and Jones again. I'm not that good at . . . ." He trailed off at Cassandra's look.

"Jacob, you're supposed to be working past that," she said softly. "It's okay. The something that's missing is Baird, I think. We'll figure it out, okay? Together, all of us."

"Yeah, you're right. Well," Jacob sighed. "I think I'm gonna go home and see about calling Max."

She nodded. "That's a good idea. Tell him hello and I will take him for ice cream like I promised. Night, Jacob. Get some rest." Then she leaned over and kissed his cheek before turning and leaving the room.

"Night, Cassandra."

Tomorrow was another day. Tomorrow they'd go up against Prospero. Tonight though, he had a phone call to make. And with that thought he strode toward the street door and home.


	15. Chapter 15

The Clippings books, the main one as well as the individual ones, had been mostly quiet for a few weeks after Flynn had left. There were small missions here and there, Cassandra was on one of hers at the moment, but for the most part it had been quiet. They'd all taken advantage of the quiet to attend to their own projects as well as things that needed to be done around the Library.

Stone knew that when Cassandra was not on missions or helping with inventory that she'd been practicing magic. Out of all of them, aside from possibly Flynn, she seemed the most adept at actually getting a spell to work. They all wondered if it was the result of her being briefly turned into Merlin and that little blue spark that she kept in a pretty jar on the desk she'd claimed as her own. She'd gone into things cautiously, following all instructions to the letter and starting very very small. He'd tried with her one day and had actually managed to get a ball to float like she could. But while she could spin and juggle them, he'd only managed the one trick. So he'd left that mostly to her though they'd had many interesting conversations about the subject, she'd gotten interested in occultism and actually found an article he'd written (under another name) about early colonial occult symbolism. He missed some of the more intimate conversations they'd had pre-Peru, but he knew that this was how it had to be, at least for now. Besides, he'd never had anyone in his life like her. Actually having a conversation with someone his intellectual equal in person was frankly amazing. And one of the many reasons why he loved her.

Jacob himself was working on a paper. He'd been so busy with the Library and Max that he'd fallen behind on his publishing. His favorite alter ego Oliver Thompson had been urged to submit for an upcoming issue of a journal he'd been frequently published in, so he'd been busy writing. In between child care, taking inventory of the Library and the occasional mission, of course. He got up and stretched, his stomach was rumbling and he had a couple of hours before he needed to pick up Max from preschool. Might as well get food. He grabbed the books he'd been gathering from the Library and headed back toward the Annex door.

He passed Jones who was muttering at a mass of wires. The security system was in desperate need of an overhaul, especially after Prospero had invaded. Ezekiel had been attempting to upgrade it, but the Library seemed to not be having it. They weren't sure why, but the Library just hadn't been itself since it's return. Which seemed to be part of the problem Jones was having, along with all of the antique wiring. Stone didn't like to admit this out loud, but if anyone could get the security system to work properly, it would be Jones.

Baird was sitting at her desk, looking lost in thought. She'd been quieter ever since Flynn had left, though she was pretty busy with Jenkins most of the time. He lay his books on the desk he'd claimed and looked over at her.

"Hey Baird?"

She looked up. "Stone?"

"Want to go out to lunch?"

She smiled at him, a touch of affection in that smile. "Sounds good. Cassandra texted and said everything was finished. She decided to do a little sightseeing before she came home."

He grinned. "Good for her. We all need to do that when we can. Might as well take advantage of magic door."

Baird looked at him, a question in her eyes, but then she shrugged. He had a feeling that she'd be asking him the question over lunch instead.

Settling in at the brewpub down the road, Baird took a sip of her beer then asked how Max was doing.

"He's doin' good. The therapist said there wasn't any need to make any more appointments for him. And he did real good spendin' time with his mama and his cousins. Loves his preschool too. Been trying to decide if I want to send him to public kindergarten or put him in a private school, but that'll be over a year away, thank God. I'm tellin' ya Baird, just yesterday he was learning to walk, now he's in school."

Baird grinned. "They do grow up fast. I don't see my brother's kids much anymore, they live in Japan but Flynn and I . . . ." She swallowed another gulp of her beer and continued. "Happened to be in Japan a month ago and we dropped in on them. They were so big! I remember the little one was crawling last I saw them."

Stone took his own sip of beer. "If you want to talk about it . . . ."

Baird shook her head. "Not right now, but thank you. If I do, I know exactly who I can count on."

"You can, you know. You helped me when I needed it. I'd like to return the favor."

Baird nodded. "About that . . . ." But before she could ask or Stone could answer, the waitress was bringing their food.

A few minutes later, after condiments were applied and food was arranged just so, Baird returned to their conversation. "Things with Cassandra seem cordial. I was expecting a great deal more of you two avoiding each other and giving each other longing looks than I have. Though the two of you and Jones . . . ."

"That's a totally different set of issues, Baird. We'll get that worked out eventually."

"Avoiding the subject, Stone."

Stone chuckled. "Things with Cassandra are good. We talked soon after you and I did."

"I don't wanna pry but I do have to know about dynamics in the team," Baird said, taking a bite of her burger. When she was finished, she added. "You don't have to tell me details if you don't want to."

Stone shook his head. "The dynamics haven't changed yet."

"Oh? I'm sorry to hear that. But you two seem so friendly . . . ." Baird looked confused. "And by the way, this is a damn good burger. How's yours?"

Stone laughed at the sudden change in topic. "It's pretty good, yes. But we're . . . ." He started eating his burger but Baird understood he was collecting his thoughts not ignoring her question.

She let him collect his thoughts and went back to enjoying her burger.

Stone finished about half his burger and then after washing it down with beer, he started talking. "We did talk. We both have things standing in our way before we can be together."

Baird nodded, she and Stone had touched on those issues before. "But?"

"It's all good. We're both on the same page. I know how she feels about me, she knows how I feel about her. Well, I mean we haven't said the words out loud, but we know. It's just . . . ."

"I get it," Baird's expression was wistful. "You need to work out your own personal issues first. It's smart."

"Wish you'd done that with Flynn?"

"Stone . . . ."

"Sorry, sorry. But anyway, we're good. Max is thrilled, we've been back to spending time with him together. It's not the same, we're trying not to get too close, muddle things too much. But it'll be okay."

"Good. And the stuff with Jones?"

Stone chuckled, taking another sip of beer and a bite of burger. "Now that's a 2-way street, Baird. But I promised Cassandra I'd try. That's all I can do."

"She didn't have much success being in the middle huh?"

Stone shook his head, "no and I feel real bad about putting her there. But she's my best friend and she denies it but she did side with me more than Jones would like." Stone tried but failed to hide the pleased grin.

"Well, I don't have any qualms about being monkey in the middle."

"Nope, but I kinda feel like we need our big sis to keep us in line."

"Hey! Watch it with the big sis thing," though it was true that she was older than the three of them, even if it was only by a couple of years in his case. She smirked though, suddenly feeling better. "I am, however, taller than you."

Stone looked mock offended despite the very real fact that she was much taller than him. "Hey! And I was gonna buy you lunch. Keep that up and you're paying for both of us."

"Ha, what we should have done was lifted Jones' credit card."

"Plan for next time. We should get back though. I have to get home. I don't have a sitter this afternoon and I'm needing to pick up Max."

"It's still so weird thinking of you as a dad."

Jacob snorted. "Trust me, I still have trouble wrapping my head around that myself. But he's still the best thing I've ever done."

"Still can't get his mother to come out here?"

He shook his head. "It's beatin' a dead horse really. Max needs his mother and I think she needs him. But she's proud and she's still blamin' herself for hookin' up with that ass. It weren't her fault, any of it. But all I can do is what I promised her and give him a good life here."

"It'll work out," she squeezed his arm, suddenly serious. "All of it. You and Cassandra, Josie, the team it'll work out."

"Same with you," he said softly. "It'll work out."

"Yeah," she smiled softly and released his arm.

"I missed ya, Eve." Calling her by her first name and the phrase brought flashbacks of another Jacob Stone, a heartbroken man in a terrible situation. But the look on this Stone's face was brotherly affection, the same way she felt for him. The love of this Stone's life was their math girl, not their Guardian and she kinda always wished that world's Cassandra had been there for that world's Stone.

She smiled. "I missed ya too, little bro."

"Never thought I'd have two female best friends. Guess I never really thought I'd have a real best friend at all, to be honest."

"Back at ya on the best friend part. Hey, does that mean I can be best person at your wedding to wife number two?"

Jacob had the grace to blush. "Baird . . .man . . .we haven't even started . . . ."

"Wow, you are too, too easy."

"That's it. You are paying for lunch."

* * *

Baird and Stone were still good naturally bickering and laughing in the Annex. Stone was gathering up his laptop and notes to take home, when the Back Door rumbled. No one paid that much attention to it any more, not like in the early days. Since the Librarians sometimes still went on solo missions and the Door was the connection to the Library, it was in almost constant use.

So it's rumbling generally only caused people in the Annex to look up briefly. This time the Door was discharging Cassandra, who was carrying a shopping bag from a French department store.

"Hey, how was Marseilles?" Jacob asked, grinning at her across the room.

"Great. Got things wrapped up without a hitch and did some shopping. Couldn't resist." She smiled and took a small statue out of the shopping bag. "Funny that could cause so much damage but luckily no one actually realized it. It was just sitting on a shelf in a second hand store. I got a couple of postcards for Max's mural too."

Max's mural was actually large sheets of paper tacked to the walls of his bedroom. Max had a bad habit of drawing on walls. Jacob hadn't wanted to discourage his artistic habits but obviously he didn't want damage on their apartment's walls or on the walls of his various sitters. So after seeing some big sheets of paper at Max's preschool, Jacob had hit upon the idea of lining the boy's room with it. Cassandra had helped him hang it up one weekend. Max had wanted more than just his drawings, so Cassandra had taken to bringing the boy postcards, photos and little trinkets to hang up as well.

"Great, he'll love that. I'm about to head on out for the day, I don't have an afternoon sitter."

Cassandra bit her lip. "I have some stuff to do here, but do you mind if I come over later and see him? It's been a while and I need a Max fix."

"You're always welcome, you know that. He'll be happy to see you, you can tell him all about the pictures on your postcards."

A few hours later, Jacob was at his desk in the living room working on his paper. Cassandra and Max were in Max's bedroom drawing on the walls. Jacob thought sometimes that Cassandra had as much fun as the boy drawing. She actually wasn't that great at it, but it was an outlet for her. Something she definitely wouldn't have been able to do as a child. She was pretty good at coloring which was something she could do with Max for hours.

He'd stretched and looked at the clock. It was getting close to dinner and he figured he'd better remind Cassandra of that. She usually didn't stay for dinner any more, part of their pact to not get too close. But occasionally if she and Max were having a good time she'd stay and then leave not long after.

"Andra?" he heard Max asking as he approached the boy's room.

"Yeah, sweetie?"

"Are you gonna marry my Daddy?"

Jacob froze in the hallway even though he really wanted to see Cassandra's face. He imagined it though, especially when he heard her stammer.

"What? I mean, um, what gave you that idea Max?"

"Daddy looks at you the way Uncle Danny looks at Auntie Jessie. Mama and Daddy never looked like that. But Sarah," Max mentioned his older cousin, one of Jessie's children. "She says that Mama and Daddy only liked each other, but her mama and daddy love each other. And I want both my mama and daddy to be happy."

Cassandra coughed. "And not together?"

Jacob couldn't see either, but Max paused and his father wondered if he was shaking his head. "Nope, Daddy says they're better off. And he keeps saying he really hopes Mama finds someone who loves her. Says she's really great but not for him."

"Yeah, he told me that too," Cassandra's tone was a little absent like she was lost in thought.

"But Andra, Daddy makes you happy right? Cuz you look at him like Auntie Jessie looks at Uncle Danny. And you should be my . . .well I have Mama but I can call you Mommy right? That would be cool."

"Um well Max um . . . ."

Jacob decided that he needed to rescue Cassandra from this now. He knocked on the door frame as he entered. Max beamed at his father, Cassandra was nearly as red as her hair.

"Hey, it's almost dinner time. I was wondering if you both would like to go out for a pizza? I've been lazy today about food."

"Yay! Pizza!" and with that Max completely forgot about what he'd been asking Cassandra about.

"Cassie?"

"Yeah, yeah, sounds good."

"Max, go wash up, okay? We'll put up the art supplies."

"Okay, Daddy."

"I assume you heard that?" Cassandra asked as Max bounced off and her color started to return to normal as she helped Jacob put the crayons and pens away.

"Yeah. If it makes you feel better, Baird asked if she could be my best person today."

Cassandra giggled. "Are we that obvious?"

"Apparently we always have been. Cassie, in all seriousness though, I ain't gonna make assumptions. We haven't even started datin'. I don't even know how you feel about it. 'Sides after gettin' divorced once . . . I'm not even sure where I stand on it."

Cassandra shook her head. "After everything, I've never let myself dream. I had relationships but . . . well you know. I don't know where I stand either. But one thing at a time right?"

"Yes. I'll have a talk with Max if you want."

"Nah, if he brings it up again, we'll talk to him together. He's forgotten already. He's sweet though, just wanting you and Josie to be happy."

"He's a great kid. You okay?"

Cassandra rounded up the last of the crayons, looking lost in thought. Then she looked over at him and playfully pouted. "Except now that you've claimed Baird, I'm gonna have to put Ezekiel in a dress and make him my maid of honor."

And Max had no idea why when he came back, his father was sitting on the floor, still laughing so hard that tears were coming out of his eyes.


	16. Chapter 16

Jacob Stone was having a good morning. One of Sarah's kids was having a birthday which happened to fall on a day when her older kids were off of school. She and her boyfriend were taking the kids on a day long adventure and had invited Max. It wouldn't hurt for him to miss a day of preschool so Jacob was happy to allow him to go.

This worked out perfectly as the clippings books had been quiet and he was so close to finishing his paper he could taste it. It was now mid-morning and he was very nearly finished. Just checking his citations and adding some notes. One of the bits of magic he had been successful at was enchanting books, which was a huge advantage for his research. Especially at this stage in writing, when he wanted to make sure he got the page numbers correct. He was thinking about another cup of coffee but he was on a roll and didn't want to stop at the moment.

A couple of minutes later, his favorite redhead appeared in front of him holding a cup of coffee.

"I brought you some more fuel."

He grinned and thanked her. They did some light flirting, her trying to wheedle her way into reading his article. He knew as soon as he told her the topic that it was completely out of her sphere, but she was game to read it anyway. He needed to try harder with her when she talked about science and math, he could sometimes follow her, his IQ was high enough but he couldn't help his mind wandering. He knew she didn't care about Dutch colonial architecture but was willing to make an effort because she cared about him. But then her eyes settled on the name he was using.

She was gentle, encouraging him to be himself, pointing out that Flynn lectured and gave seminars under his real name. He could tell she didn't really approve of his reasoning and he could hear her unspoken "this is part of what's keeping us apart" in her voice. But she let it go or at least was starting to when first Jones and then the main clippings book interrupted them.

Oklahoma. . . . well the idea made his stomach clench but it was a couple of hundred miles away from his hometown so the likelihood was not high that he'd run into anyone he knew.

So he gave no argument (couldn't really if he was honest) when Baird sent the three of them off. And really, it was kind of exciting to have a big case again. It had been quiet for too long. He was in Oklahoma, a place that was in his blood and today at least felt more like coming home than the trap it usually did. Jones was too interested in having a new case to be annoying at the moment. Cassandra was at his side.

It was going to be a great day.

Until he saw the logo on the truck that drove by. And his heart dropped to his feet.

* * *

"The hell you doin' here?"

He was vaguely aware of Cassandra's gasp as he greeted his father. But at the moment he could feel himself sinking back into the endless hole of his life as Isaac Stone's son. It was ridiculous, he was a grown man, pushing 40, a father himself, but a second after meeting that man's stare and he was a scared little kid again.

He could vaguely hear Ezekiel and Cassandra's excited murmurings behind him. He could see it from Ezekiel and in a way Cassandra as well. After all, she'd had to find out about his ex-wife and child completely by accident, they all had. He couldn't really blame her for wanting to know more about him. Especially since she'd been considering having a serious relationship with him.

But the thing was he'd never wanted her to meet Jake Stone. Any other persona of his, he'd have been happy to let her get to know. But not Jake Stone. Never ever Jake Stone. The scared, useless boy who was being cowed by his own father right in front of her.

He had to give it to her, she refused to give into his father's sexism and bull. He could tell that the old man was impressed with her despite himself.

Then the man had slapped him. Like he was a child. The same action that had led to Jacob taking Max away from Josie. But here he was just taking his father's abuse, word after harsh belittling word. He could feel Cassandra's growing anger and even Jones seemed taken aback. But there was absolutely nothing Jacob could do but take it.

Even when his father had snapped at him about turning his back on his family and taking his grandson away.

He'd wanted to snap back that the old man hadn't ever given a damn about the boy. Josie's dad had doted on his namesake for the short time he'd lived after the boy was born. But Isaac? If he was sober, he sometimes noticed the child even existed. But he'd been the same about Jessie's kids, so Jacob shouldn't have expected anything different.

It didn't get any better during the ride into the dig site. Cassandra had insisted on sitting in the middle, a gesture that he'd appreciated. He needed the buffer she provided. He could tell she was biting her lip to keep from speaking, Cassandra hated unfairness no matter who it was directed at. And his father was being particularly obnoxious. She'd very briefly squeezed his knee when his father wasn't looking, reminding him that she was there, something he really needed at the moment.

Out of everything in what was rapidly turning out to be a terrible day, his best friend was back. In her blue eyes, he only saw support and love. He'd missed that part of their relationship dearly and had at one time thought he'd never find that again. He'd been wrong like he was so much. But then her forehead had wrinkled and he'd immediately stopped focusing on his father, worried that she was going to have a spell or seizure. But his father had said something hurtful again and he'd let his attention wander back to himself and off of her.

There was something wrong. It was quite obvious but he was so wrapped up in his own pain and his sinking back into his costume that he couldn't even begin to figure out what it was. Which lead to him basically having a fight with Cassandra. He hated himself immediately for being just like his father and taking out his insecurities on someone else. But he really couldn't handle her being disappointed in him on top of everything else so he walked off without an apology. To go find his father and try to maybe find a solution that would get him the hell out of Oklahoma as soon as possible.

It had started out pleasant enough, getting the engine on that old beater started again. But it ended like it always did. His father blaming him for never living up to standards that Jacob wasn't entirely sure had ever been explained to him. It had always been Jake's fault, everything, no matter what. Back in Portland, raising his son, becoming a Librarian, he'd started to get over that. Especially with the incentive of Cassandra's love waiting at the end of the tunnel. But as his father drove away, calling him a 'son of a bitch,' Jacob felt the ground open up under his feet and himself falling deep in that hole of despair and self hatred.

* * *

He'd initially been happy to see her when he went back to the dig site. He could really use some more of her love and support. But she'd been snappish with him, excusing him of running off. He couldn't blame her really. He'd been caught up in his father and his own feelings, he'd ignored her pain earlier and then they'd had words before he'd stormed off.

But it only got worse.

"I'm dealin' with a lot of stuff right now, okay?"

"No, you are dealing with a world of lies you created. I mean, I guess I shouldn't be surprised. None of us would have even know you had a son if we hadn't just stumbled upon him."

"What does . . . . Can we just go find Jones so we can get the hell out of here?"

"Is anything in your life true? Or is it all lies? Were you ever going to straighten yourself out? Or was that just another lie to string me along? Because I don't see you working it out right now."

"Cassandra, now is really not the time for us to be discussing our personal lives." What the hell had gotten into her? She was as cold right now as she'd been during that horrible period after Peru.

"That's what you always say. So I won't pry. You ask a lot out of me and I get nothing in return."

"Cassie . . . look can we talk about this later at home? I know I haven't . . . look, can we just go find Jones? Let's get this straightened out and we can talk about it. But right now I'm gonna go find Jones. Are you comin' with me?"

"No. You're on your own just like always. I'm done. Done waiting for what you'll never give me."

Then she turned on her heel and stalked off in the opposite direction.

Stunned, Jacob couldn't even call after her. Her words were cold but they rang so true. He'd asked a dying woman to wait for him to get his head straightened out. And what did he do? Allowed his father to treat him like a child right in front of her. Never fighting back. Never once even showing an ounce of backbone. Just folding himself back into dumb jock oil rigger Jake Stone. Barely able to take care of himself, let alone his own child. A failure of a son, brother, father, husband and now potential lover.

He'd never needed a drink as badly in his life as he did right then. Even though he knew that was his father inside his head.

* * *

Tequila lined up in front of him at the bar. Not more than twenty minutes before, he'd turned down his old man's offer of a hit from his flask. Twenty minutes before, he had the comfort of knowing Cassandra had his back. Twenty minutes ago, his life was somewhat salvageable from the wreckage that was this trip to Oklahoma.

He wanted to go back those twenty minutes. Hell to this morning. To a week ago when he and Cassandra had jokingly planned their wedding. That wasn't going to happen now.

He'd lost her. Lost her for good this time. After Peru, when he'd been an idiot and turned his back on her, he'd always had a bit of hope that she'd walk up to him one day and start yelling at him like she had in a labyrinth in what seemed like a lifetime ago. Then he'd cave and tell her the truth about everything and hoped she'd forgive him. Which she eventually had when he'd manned up and told her how he'd felt.

But not this time. She was done with him. She'd seen the man he'd been careful never to show her. Had dreaded ever showing her. Oil rigger Jake Stone, good ole boy, good for nothing but football and chasing skirts. And Cassandra was not a skirt to be chased. So what use was Jake Stone to a woman like her? Just as worthless as his pop had always told him he was.

 _God_ , he thought as he took a shot and winced, _I **hate** Jake Stone_.

Jake Stone had cost him the woman that he loved. And probably his dream job too. He couldn't face that look on Cassandra's face ever again. Soon as he drank that look in her eyes out of his brain he was heading back to Portland, packing his son off and leaving. He wasn't sure where. Maybe Texas. He couldn't stay in Portland and he sure as hell wasn't coming back to Oklahoma with his tail between his legs.

 _Ain't gonna happen_. He'd start over again and raise his son. Come to terms with the fact that he'd never have the life he wanted with the love of his life. But maybe something good would come out of this wreck, he'd bury Jake Stone for good this time. Build a new life on the ashes of him.

He took another shot. Needed a least a couple more of these because he swore he could smell her perfume behind him.

"Hey," came her soft voice and it tore through him like she'd punched him. _Why the hell was she here_?

"Look unless you're apologizin', I ain't got it in me for round two," his voice sounded bitter and angry to his ears. But he was allowed.

"I beg your pardon? What are you talking about?"

He'd seen Jones so he decided not to get into specifics. That thief didn't need to hear how the girl had broken his heart. "You called me a horrible person, a liar. Said I should be on my own. Ring any bells?"

The bartender slid another shot down to him and he nodded even as Cassandra said, "I never said that."

What the hell kinda game was she playing? He'd seriously misjudged her character apparently if she was the type of woman to do this. He stood, his eyes blazing. "You said it to my face."

That's when Jones stepped in. "Ever occur to you that it wasn't her?"

It wasn't any of the boy's damn business and it rankled. "You callin' me a liar?"

"Ever hear of a shapeshifter?"

 _Oh God. No, no, no, no. Of course. Of course. How blind am I?_ If he'd been on his game he would have realized . . . .

He all but collapsed into a chair at a nearby table.

"I missed it."

"You missed what now, mate?"

He looked over at Cassandra, hoping against hope that it was exactly what he now suspected. She'd not broken his heart, she hadn't even been there. "We never had a conversation at the demolition shed?"

"No," she said softly, her eyes gentle and full of compassion. Jones was still talking but he only saw Cassandra.

Her eyes. His best friend's eyes, the soft gentle way she'd been looking at him all day. Not at all how that thing had looked at him. How could he have been so stupid? To mistake a trickster god for his love?

"Hoklonote."

Jones was asking him some stupid question, but he kept talking, mostly to Cassandra, explaining himself and how he could have mistaken someone-something else for her.

"I should have seen it. I'm sittin' here. I'm absorbed in my own problem, dealin' with my father. It was right in front of me."

"What is it?" Cassandra asked, forgiving him for his anger immediately and jumping right back into the case. Where his head should have been in the first place.

"Hoklonote is a shapeshifter. It's a Native American trickster god. It feeds on lies-telling them and hearing them."

"That's what Jenkins said," Jones added.

"Lies, every single lie, my dad's lies about the permits . . . ." _My lies about who I really am_.

"Mr. Jenkins said if we don't stop it, it's gonna keep feeding and getting stronger."

"And chaos will escalate."

"Well how bad . . . ." Jones didn't get to finish his sentence because an explosion suddenly rocked the bar.

They'd raced back to the construction site, just in time to see a duplicate Cassandra descending the hole. They tracked the Hoklonote to its cage. Only to have it escape and lock them in.


	17. Chapter 17

_The truth will set you free._

Jacob Stone was strongly considering getting that tattooed across his arm as a reminder. The years he'd spent lying to everyone around him, including himself, had led to this terrible day. But as awful and horrible as this day was, he had a feeling that on the other side was a whole new life for him. But first he had to get out of this cage.

His truth was in part an apology to Cassandra, Ezekiel's lone truth was eye opening and humorous. Then Cassandra admitted she'd decided on a day when she'd die. Her truth didn't include whether or not she'd actually go through with it, just that she'd once made the decision. His apology seemed inadequate and he wasn't sure what he was apologizing for. Mostly for putting her in the position where she had to share that with them.

But her face shone with strength when she said that day was not today. She was all business and they had a job to do. And it was time he did his job too. He was a Librarian not Jake Stone and it was time for him to prove it.

He'd left Cassandra and Ezekiel behind to keep the door open and went in search of the trickster god.

He found his dad's crew setting up to blow up the hole. Cassandra's words echoed in his head: _he's gonna want that hole destroyed._

"Hey, what are you doing?" he asked Andy.

"Your dad says we're blasting the hole."

 _Hoklonote. Pretending to be my father._

At first he wasn't certain. Couldn't be certain. There was no real difference in attitude between his father and the trickster, not like how he could now tell the difference if the thing was impersonating Jones or Cassandra. _If you told the truth, Hoklonote was powerless against you_.

Either way, it was time. He wasn't Jake any longer. He was Jacob: art historian, Librarian, father. Now he was going to embrace who he really was. So he told the man in front of him, father or trickster, the truth. About how he was a genius, how he spoke nine languages and understood more, about his work in the art world and about how he never wanted the family business.

Then he apologized for never having the guts to tell him.

"You are my son. And I love you." Then Jacob felt himself being pulled into an embrace. For one moment, just one moment, he took the comfort, the words he'd never heard from his father. Shed a tear or two for that scared kid he'd once been and became the Librarian he now was.

"My father would die before he ever told me that." He grabbed Hoklonote and dove into the pit.

Blasted thing morphed right into Cassandra, mocking him for his weakness and hell if he did have a weakness as it's fist connected with his face. But it's arrogance caused it to morph into Ezekiel, whom Jacob had no trouble laying flat.

It was surreal fighting himself. But then again, he reflected as he took another punch and the trickster continued to mock him, he'd been fighting himself since he'd gotten to Oklahoma that day. _Tell the truth_ , he told himself as Hoklonote mentioned all of his lies, all of his aliases. He'd been fighting himself since he was a child. From the day he'd realized who he really was and how it didn't fit into what everyone else had expected out of him. _Tell the damn truth. Finish this cursed thing_.

"I'm afraid," he yelled. "I'm afraid to use my real name!" Jacob could see the truth weakening his double. "Because then I can't pretend it's my father's fault anymore."

A punch sent the other Stone backwards and Jacob continued. "I could live with being a failure in my old life. But I was too afraid to be a failure in my new one. Afraid of letting my son down. Afraid of letting my girl down like I let down my wife."

Admitting those truths to himself had nearly led him to drink on many an occasion, had put him in limbo with Cassandra. But saying them out loud to this thing had the equivalent power of a hug from Max or one of Cassandra's sunshine smiles. He could take on the world now that he had the power of truth.

"The truth hurts," he muttered as he knocked the trickster out.

* * *

"Is it dead?" Cassandra asked as he propped the Hoklonote up in the corner of the cage.

"Nope, but it's gonna wish it was."

"How do we know it's the real you?" Jones asked.

Jacob fought back a surge of anger but Cassandra's concerned face reminded him that it was after all, a fair question.

"I didn't stay with you after Peru . . ." he chose his words carefully, Cassandra knew the truth about the aftermath of the kiss, so it wasn't a truth that needed to be shared. He'd shared that truth with Baird but he wasn't sure what if anything Jones knew. It wasn't the place if Cassandra hadn't told him. So he chose the other truth about why he'd left. It was true in both of their cases. He could have apologized to Jones and tried to get them all to work together. "Because I didn't know if I could get the job done. I was in over my head with Max as it was and then suddenly being promoted to Librarian . . . I didn't want you to see me fail."

Cassandra looked like she wanted to hug him. And Jones looked like he was actually going to say something sincere. But they were interrupted by one of the snake paintings on the wall coming to life and wrapping its around the prone body of the trickster.

"The truth binds it."

Cassandra took a deep breath next to him and blurted out, "I didn't stay with you after Peru because I wanted to prove I could do it alone. I liked having you there. But I knew you thought I was sick."

What? She'd never told him that she felt that way. Was she referring to Jones? No, she was looking right at him. He opened his mouth to protest but the other snake distracted them. He'd talk to her another time when it was more appropriate. He really needed to get the hell out of there. A shower, maybe a couple of pain killers and a really big hug from his son were what he wanted right now.

"Let's go," he growled, looking in distaste at the trickster.

Cassandra expressed concerns that it might escape again but he assured her it would never be free. And in his head, he realized that he was now. When the door slammed shut on Hoklonote, he left Jake the oil rigger in with him to rot in hell.

They emerged from the hole and there was one last person that he needed to leave behind in the dust. It would hurt like hell, but he owed it to himself and to his child to leave him behind.

"What happened to you?" his father asked.

 _I became who I always was._ "The truth."

His father just looked confused.

"The truth is . . . I don't care if you know the truth anymore. I don't need your approval. I am who I am and I'm gonna raise my son to be who he is. Bye, Pop."

* * *

Ezekiel had declared there had been one too many things he learned today that he'd liked to get out of his brain, shooting a look at Cassandra and then had called it a night even though it was only early evening. Jacob was a bit curious as to what Cassandra had said that prompted such a reaction but she only shook her head at Ezekiel.

It was something to ask her on another night. He really needed to get cleaned up.

"Cassie?"

"Yeah?" she looked a little apprehensive as if he was going to ask her about one or two of her truths. He would but not tonight.

"Could you do me a favor?" At her nod, he continued. "Sarah's got Max for the day, I really don't wanna have to explain these bruises to her. Could you pick him up for me?"

"Of course," she smiled at him. "I could really use one of his hugs."

"Actually . . . ."it was going to be a long night, he had a feeling. "Could you take him tonight? I need to do some thinkin'. But . . . ."

"Sure, that would be fun. I'll bring him back to your place first. I think you need one of his hugs even more than I do."

"Thank you so much. I'm gonna head home, I wanna take a shower before you get back with him."

He was showered and changed by the time that Cassandra got back with Max. Max had recently gotten a key and he was proudly showing Cassandra that he could open the door.

"Daddy?" Max's face went from excited to concerned when he saw his father.

Jacob didn't answer his unspoken question, just knelt and held his arms open. The boy got the hint and ran into them for a hug.

"Andra said you saved the world," Max's voice was muffled in his shoulder.

"We did," and Jacob pressed a kiss to his son's cheek.

"Do you hurt Daddy?"

"Yep, but you're makin' it loads better," he squeezed the child tighter. "I love you so much." Unlike his father, Jacob had never had difficulty saying those words to his son. He was never going to be his father and Max, Max was never going to be like Jake. Never. He'd made that promise the day his son was born and he intended to keep it.

"Love you too, Daddy. Andra wants me to come stay with her and keep her company, but if you need me too, I can stay here."

He could hear Cassandra sniffle behind them and he knew if he looked she'd have tears in her eyes. "It's okay, cowboy. Daddy ain't feelin' too good and he just needs a little time to heal. Andra needs you tonight though, so you take care of her and in the mornin', you can come take care of me, okay?"

"Okay," the boy nodded against his shoulder and Jacob kissed him one more time before sending him off to his room to pack.

"Don't you forget your toothbrush," Cassandra called after the boy before wiping her eyes.

"He's so sweet," she looked over at him, biting her lip. "Jake . . . ."

"Please darlin', don't call me that. Jake . . . .he's not who I am. I'm Jacob."

She nodded, the tears coming again. "And you always were. Jacob, never let that man ever tell you that you're not. You're a good man, you're a good father and you are not a failure. You . . ."

She stopped and looked at him. He was pretty sure he looked as pathetic as he did before the sun because she threw her arms around him. This time he let himself hold her, burying his face in her shoulder, indulging in the smell of her hair as he tightened his arms around her.

"You . . .are . . .not . . .a . . .failure, Jacob Stone. And I'll tell you that every day until you believe it."

He pressed a kiss to her cheek. "I'm almost there, I really am. But I just need . . . ."

"I know you do."

"I'm so sorry, Cassandra."

"For what?"

"For even a moment believin' that thing was you."

"How could you have known?" She pulled away from him enough so she could see his face. "What did it say to you?"

"Things I should have realized you'd never say. But I was so busy hatin' myself that I believed you could feel that way. We'll talk about it another night. We have a lot to talk about."

She nodded, he could tell she knew he wanted to discuss her own truths. "Jacob . . .are you sure you want us to go? We can stay here. Build a fort out of blankets in the living room."

He smiled, just a little bit. "That sounds fun. We'll do that another night, okay? Tonight I need to think and it'll help me to know the two of you are havin' fun."

She nodded, "alright. Try and get some sleep, okay?" Then she kissed him, not much more than a brushing of lips. They could hear Max coming, so one last squeeze and she stepped away from his arms.

She gave him one last lingering look and then turned her attention to his child. "Alright Max, time for a sleepover. "

Max gave his father one last hug and they were gone.

* * *

He found himself back in the Annex. It was late and quiet, he wasn't even sure if Jenkins was around. None of them knew where Jenkins went when they all went back to their various apartments.

It was odd how he was feeling. It felt a lot like mourning. He wasn't sure exactly what or who he was mourning though. Was he mourning the death of what was left of his relationship with his father? He was pretty sure that was the end of that. He'd join his sister in exile, she'd cut ties not long after the old man fell into a bottle and stayed there. He sighed, Jess knew the score, she'd always said that their Momma was the only one who kept him at least half sober and when she died . . . .Well that was the end of that. Jessie was never the most dutiful of daughters to begin with and her gender had made her of not much use to their father as it was. He'd tried so hard to live up what his father had wanted, but he just couldn't. That was not his life, it never was and it never would be.

His life was here. Today he'd done more than walked away from his father. He'd buried who he used to be in some red dirt and returned to Oregon with his head held high.

He was Jacob Stone, Librarian. He didn't hate him. Wasn't completely sure he loved him yet, but he was getting there. Not hating who he was? That was a huge step.

He turned to his laptop. He'd come here to put the last finishing touches on his article, something to keep him focused. That's when Jenkins came in.

"Family ain't easy . . ." what didn't Jenkins hear in this building?

As the old knight walked away, Jacob focused on his last words of wisdom. Nothing was easy. Life sure as hell wasn't easy. Love was hard work. But it was worth it in the end.

He turned to the laptop and changed the name on the paper to Jacob Stone.

Being himself? Maybe that was easier than he thought.


	18. Chapter 18

Jacob and Cassandra had been excited about the case since it popped up in the main clippings book. The occult in America had been a special research project of theirs since they'd reunited (the occult books being moved to an area infested by giant spiders was just a bit of a setback) so being able to put it to practical use at the unusual university was a big thrill. Then there was the very idea of being on a college campus. As far as Jacob knew (one never actually knew about the thief) Baird was the only member of the assembled staff that had a degree and she'd gone to a military academy. Cassandra, by all rights, should have gone to her choice of schools, probably had a half dozen doctorates by now. But the tumor had made that impossible.

As for Stone, well . . . . Even if he'd been honest about his intelligence, there had been no money for college. He'd actually won a scholarship for football at a minor school, his momma had been more than excited about it and even Pop had thought that him majoring in business would have been useful. But Momma got sick right after graduation and he'd given up the scholarship to hold the family together. There had been no money afterward even for a community college and even though he'd dreamed, he knew it was never going to happen.

So for both Stone and Cassandra, this case was a bit of a dream come true. For a little while, until things went south as they almost always did. Why Jacob ever thought these things would be easy, he never knew.

He did learn a valuable lesson that day. The old adage _never meet your heroes_ was absolutely true. Roger Bancroft turned out to be a pompous blow hard who barely knew what he was talking about. And that was before he got sucked into a rift by a tentacle monster.

But then a cheerleader mistook him for a guest lecturer. Cassandra's voice rang through his head, reminding him of how Flynn used to give lectures and seminars when he was the only Librarian. His spine straightened and he smiled at the girl. He was indeed.

He uncovered something very important that opened up the case. But at the same time, he discovered something important about himself. He loved lecturing. Right there on the fly, with a whole bunch of young eager minds hanging on his every word. How much of a rush would this be if he could do this with time to prepare?

 _Proud of you_. Followed by a heart came the text from Cassandra when he quickly sent a text letting her know that he was going to finish out the class and meet up with them afterward.

But it was Cassandra that he would come to be proud of as the day went on. Found out it was possible to be both terrified and have your heart swell with pride at the same time. He imagined he'd feel this way about his son at some point in the future. But for now, it was directed at the woman he loved.

* * *

Originally the case had been exciting, Cassandra reflected. She'd always longer to have followed that path she'd been set on as a small child. The ultimate reward for sacrificing her childhood had always been a good school. Then maybe a well deserved gap year before she settled into doctoral studies. But her tumor had ended that dream and had shattered her parents who were completely unable to dream a new dream for their only child.

Aunt Gertie's home had become a temporary refuge, the two of them giving back to the community. But whenever Gertie had done some work with anyone college aged, Cassandra had always found something else to do. Even now, Cassandra sought out volunteer work with children or the elderly, never with high school or college aged people. The pain was still real. Though it had eased a little bit in Chicago, helping a young woman named Amy find her own path instead of the one her mother had chosen.

She'd tried that same approach with young Lucy. But unlike Amy, who had really wanted to be a typical teenager and had been in love with her young man, Lucy wasn't interested in following any path that was not academic. She even had some degree of popularity, she'd gotten them into the frat party, no questions asked. But none of that was for Lucy.

Lucy . . .it was all Cassandra's fault. Baird and Jenkins had been reluctant to let an outsider get involved. Cassandra herself had tried to discourage her, feeling like a hypocrite over how she'd been upset with Jacob over Mabel. But Lucy refused to be discouraged and the Library's magic cover stories didn't work at all on the young woman.

Then the monster had taken Lucy. And it was all Cassandra's fault for letting the girl get involved.

Jenkins and Baird tried to discourage her from going after Lucy. Cassandra's insides were churning, she was more than afraid, she was terrified at what lay on the other side. But she showed none of it. Because even though she was frightened, the fear had no power over her. She was going to do the right thing.

"I'm a Librarian, Eve. And we're going after Lucy."

Jacob's eyes met hers and even before her heart finished a beat, he said, "I'm with you." No hesitation, just his trust and his love holding her up. That sick knot in her stomach loosened a little and she wondered if this was how he'd felt after she'd hugged him in the Annex before the sun. She'd seen him visibly straighten, his spirits improving. That's how she felt right then too.

Ezekiel agreed straight away, always up for adventure. Then finally Baird, her face full of pride, agreed.

Cassandra detailed her plans, Jacob silent beside her, but she felt his eyes on her and his quiet support.

Just before Jacob and Ezekiel were due to head out on "Operation Distraction," Jacob came up to Cassandra and touched her elbow.

"Cassandra?"

"Stone, we don't have much time, we don't know . . . ." Cassandra looked at his face and stopped. "I can give you a minute."

He nodded and walked her around a corner. They were somewhat secluded but someone could come by. But that was okay, they had next to no time.

She looked at him, feeling just a little impatient with him when all he did was stare at her. If it wasn't for the fear on his face, she would have walked away. But instead he seemed to be holding her in place by the weight of his stare. Still they didn't have time for their personal issues right now. She needed to save Lucy.

She started to huff, open her mouth to tell him she needed to leave, when suddenly his hands were on either side of her face. He pulled her in and like every other time he kissed her, she went willingly. This kiss was a bit rough and desperate, she could taste his fear on her tongue and this kiss wasn't the pretty pink of the last couple of kisses. This one was red. But it was the red of more than just fear, it was the red of passion and love.

It lasted less than a minute and then he released her with a gasp and a quick intake of breath. She rested her forehead against his, their breaths mingling.

"Cassie . . .I l . . . .just be careful, okay?"

She nodded, blinked a tear away. "I will. You be careful too, okay? Don't let that thing grab you or Ezekiel. I don't wanna have to rescue you too."

He chuckled, but she knew there wasn't much humor in it. Then he released her.

She quirked a small smile at him. "See you on the other side, Jacob."

He grinned back, remembering. "You better."

She took a deep breath. "Alright then, let's go save the day."

* * *

As Cassandra set up the magnetic field, she went over her plan in her mind. If it all went according to plan, she'd be able to get through rescue Lucy (and possibly the others that had been grabbed) and get back without the monster harming Stone, Ezekiel or anyone else. Then they could seal the rift and keep Wexler safe. If her plan didn't go right, however . . .well there was one way to insure that Wexler and the others would be safe. That knot twisted in her stomach again. She knew what she had to do.

She went over the plan verbally with Baird and then dropped the bombshell that she, not Baird was going to go through the rift.

Baird wasn't not at all pleased. Not until Cassandra, with a hitch in her breathing, explained her reasoning. She hoped that it wouldn't come to it, but Baird was the only one who could overlook her heart and do what needed to be done to save everyone else. And Baird, the soldier, sighed and reluctantly agreed.

Ezekiel and Jacob were distracting the monster and everything was ready to go.

"You sure about this?" Baird asked one last time.

"No," Cassandra sighed. She wasn't sure but she had to do this. It was the right thing to do. "Just make sure the monster doesn't get the kids or Ezekiel or Stone. And you do what you have to do. Promise me."

"I promise. Find Lucy."

"And Eve . . ."Cassandra looked at her. "If I don't make it, tell Stone . . . ." She bit her lip and Baird's face confirmed that she knew about the relationship between her two charges. But Cassandra couldn't say it. Jacob knew and if she said it out loud here . . .well somehow it would mean she wasn't coming back. And she was, she **was**. "Tell Stone's little boy that I love him."

Baird smiled gently. "I will."

One last look back and Cassandra took a deep breath, straightened her spine and walked through worlds.

* * *

Though she'd felt bad about it, after it was all over, she'd gone home alone. She'd managed to slip out without having a conversation with Jacob. She knew that if she'd asked, he would have been there for anything she needed, from taking Max for ice cream to a hug or just a text. But she needed to process a few things and the only way she could do it was on her own.

She'd been settled on her sofa in her pajamas, mindlessly flipping through stations when a text came from Jacob. It wasn't much just letting her know that he was there if she needed to talk and that he understood if she needed some alone time. _I owe you that_ was the last thing he sent before a little heart. It was the first time he'd used an emoji and it made her smile.

She thought back over the events of the day. There was a lot she should be reflecting on, from the strange Lake Foundation and their powers to Jenkins' warnings and concern for her. But her mind kept coming back to two things: death and decisions.

Peter and the professor had met untimely ends at the hands of the monster. Sure the professor was pompous and arrogant but that certainly didn't deserve death. The boy by all accounts was just a very devoted fan of his school. So very young, his whole life ahead of him and instead it was over. Today could have very well been her end had the ladies of the Lake not rescued her.

Young Peter probably did live his life to the fullest in the way only the young did. But could Cassandra have said the same if she'd died that day? She'd spent more than half of her life living in fear of her illness, or her death. And she could have died today. Any of them could have.

 _They say Librarians die. We all will die. Why do I keep myself from living?_

Decisions. . . .Cassandra had to admit she'd been tempted and flattered by the Lake's offer. But the Library was more than her job, it was her home. She was happy there. Just as she told Jenkins, it felt like she was finally controlling her own destiny. Until she was 15, her parents had made her decisions, put her on her path. After that, every decision she'd made from dropping out of school, to moving out of her parents' house to working as a janitor to betraying the Library, it all had to do with her tumor. Even taking the job when Flynn offered was really more about circumstance than choice. She had felt like she had nowhere else to go so she took what was offered.

But today? She thought nothing of her tumor. She thought only of the job and the people that she loved. She chose to stay with them.

Choice.

Her choice.

And this time the decision was obvious and clear.

She'd been running after someone else's choices (even if that someone had been pre-Librarian Cassandra) but now? She was choosing her life. And this time she was choosing to live.

It might take a bit of getting used to. But like Jacob had in Oklahoma, she put her old self away on a shelf.

She was a Librarian and she choose to live.


	19. Chapter 19

No one would fault him if he left, Stone reflected as they watched the lights flicker out. He had a child waiting for him at home. But even as Jenkins tried again fruitlessly to get them to all leave, Stone knew where his place was. Cassandra was not leaving Jenkins and Stone wasn't leaving her. Maybe he was a fool in love, it probably was madness to put her first. But Stone always had faith in something greater than himself. And in his gut, he just knew that it wasn't going to end the way Jenkins thought. The Library would find a way. It always had.

They were arguing once more when suddenly the last light went out. His hand found Cassandra's in the dark. If they were going to die today, they were dying together. She was holding his hand so tightly it nearly hurt, though he was pretty sure he was holding hers just as tightly. But a heartbeat went by, then another . . . .

"Jenkins, what's going on?" They certainly were not dead. Unless the afterlife was exactly the same as life had been.

"I have no idea. We should all be . . . ."

And then suddenly the lights flickered on and Cassandra's hand dropped from his. His faith had been proven justified. Flynn and Baird had returned with the Spirit of the Library.

The joy and relief that they were all alive and the Library was once again whole was short lived. Everyone could tell that something had happened between Flynn and their Guardian. Flynn was gone again and Baird was quiet and sad.

Stone had busied himself with cleanup for a while with the others but then he had to leave to take Max over to Cathy's for a sleepover with James. On his way out, he passed Baird sitting at her desk looking pensive.

"Baird?"

"Huh? What? Oh, heading out?"

"Yeah, it's Max's best friend's birthday. I guess they're havin' a family party on the weekend but he wanted Max over for a sleepover, so I gotta run him over."

"Ah, that's nice."

"Baird, do ya . . . . Look, you know I'm here if you need to talk, right?"

She nodded. "I do. And I will take you up on your offer really soon. But tonight I just need to process some stuff."

He nodded in return. "I know how that goes." He went to pat her shoulder as he passed but instead he bent and brushed a kiss over her cheek.

Her response was a soft smile. "Go home, Stone. Hug your kid for me."

After dropping Max off, Stone sent a text to Baird checking in. She told him that she'd sent everyone home for the night and told him to actually go home and not back to the Library.

He chuckled and imagined that she'd probably told Cassandra the same thing three times.

He'd picked up dinner, had intended to just relax and maybe watch a ball game. Or more likely read the book he'd been dying to get to but hadn't had time.

But the events of the day kept running through his head. Despite his faith in the Library, he and the others had willingly stayed, hoping for the best but expecting to sacrifice themselves for the Library. He'd stayed with both of his loves: Cassandra and the Library. He'd faced his death holding her hand.

For so many months, he'd counted on the fact that she knew he loved her. But that wasn't enough any longer. She could have died today without ever actually having heard the words from him. He'd seen Baird's heartbreak when Flynn left. And he had a feeling the pain on Flynn's face hadn't all had to do with the Library.

This was not going to happen with Cassandra. He was telling her and he was telling her tonight.

* * *

Cassandra had intended to settle in with a long bath and a book. But she was restless and unsettled so she took a shower instead. She'd changed into her pajamas: a pair of floral shorts and a camisole with a drawing of the sun and braided her hair. But she still couldn't get herself to relax.

She could have died today. Again. She was absolutely not going to let Jenkins die alone in the dark. She was surprised that Stone had been just as steadfast. No one would have blamed him if he'd left. He had a child. She had a feeling that without Max, there wouldn't have been a doubt in his mind. But then Stone had a well developed sense of right and wrong. Staying was right. But part of her had wanted to tell him to go.

What if they'd died? Poor little Max without a father. . . . She knew Jacob had made a series of plans in case the worst happened. And she knew, especially after visiting Oklahoma, that his previous line of work was not without its dangers.

But the selfish part of her had been glad he stayed. Her hand in his as the darkness fell, she'd felt at peace.

Now, safe in her own apartment, she'd come to the final conclusion to a months' old puzzle. All of her adult life, she'd pushed away potential partners before they became too close. She didn't want to burden them with the pain of her untimely passing. But today (and if she was honest for a long time now), she hadn't wanted to die alone. When her time came, no matter how it came, she wanted to die with her hand in someone else's, preferably Jacob Stone's.

She needed to tell him, but she wasn't sure if he was home. She had been in another part of the Library when he left and Ezekiel had said something about Max. It was past the boy's bedtime, so she wasn't sure if she should call or wait until morning.

She'd finally picked up her phone intending to send a text when her buzzer sounded. She looked through the peephole and smiled.

"Hi, Jacob," she said when she opened the door. "Where's Max?" she asked, looking behind him.

"He's over at Cathy's for a sleepover with James."

"Oh, that's right, Cathy mentioned something about that a week or so ago. First sleepover with a friend," she chuckled. "They grow up so fast."

"Yeah," Jacob said his tone slightly absent. She closed the door behind him and ushered him into her living room.

"So, um, what brings you by?"

"We um we . . . .we almost died today."

Cassandra nodded. "I know."

"There was a part of me that felt like I should have left."

She nodded again, biting her lip. "None of us would have blamed you. Part of me is upset that I didn't tell you to leave."

"I just couldn't, Cassie. And maybe I'm a horrible parent, but I couldn't leave you."

"Jacob . . . ."

"I held your hand. But it's been goin' through my head all night, what if we had died?"

"Max . . . ."

"Yes, but it was more than that. Josie knew the dangers of my old job, she knew she might be raisin' our boy alone some day. It's not Max, though I'd rather my son be buryin' me when I'm an old man. No, I just kept thinkin' what if we died today and I never told you I loved you."

Cassandra's eyes filled with tears. "Jacob, are you sure?"

"I am, darlin'. I can't do this anymore. I'm ready if you are. I'm comfortable with who I am. I'm Jacob Stone, I'm an art historian and a Librarian. Finally for the first time in my life, I'm being myself. There's only one me now and I love you."

She placed her hands in his. "I felt awful because of Max, but I was so glad you were there today. I held your hand and I realized I'm done being alone. I used to push people away because I was afraid of leaving them. But I'm not afraid any more. I want to live my life with you, no matter how long or short it is," she smiled up at him. "I love you too, Jacob."

Not quite sure what to do, they continued to smile at each other, holding each others' hands. Finally, Cassandra had enough and she tugged forward on his hands. She heard him laugh in the moment before his lips met hers. This kiss was like an explosion of joy, the colors of a sunset, pink and purple and red and orange, every color she'd ever associated with an emotion and with him. They dropped each other's hands as the kiss deepened, one of his cupping her cheek and bringing her in closer, the other finding its way to her hip. She moved both hands up to his shoulders, eventually sliding one up his neck and into his hair.

They finally had to break for air and he put both his hands on her waist, pulling her into a hug. Finally when their breaths evened out, he asked, "what now?"

"I don't know," she giggled. "Do we go out on a date? Are we in a relationship? What are we going to tell Max?"

He motioned toward her sofa and they sat together, his arm around her shoulders. "Max is gonna be over the moon."

Cassandra giggled again. "He's gonna ask when we're getting married again."

"Yeah," he tightened his arm around her shoulders. "I still don't know how I feel about that. I mean marriage itself. I wanna be with you, Cassie."

She nodded. "I know, I'm . . . I'm not sure how I feel about marriage either. But I want to be with you."

"Well," and he paused to give her a soft kiss. "Let's just take things one day at a time, okay?"

She nodded with a smile. "I'm absolutely fine with that."

They kissed again but Cassandra could sense something was on his mind. "What is it?"

He bit his lip and broke away from her. "Darlin', it's been bothering me for weeks now. Some of the things you said in Oklahoma . . . ."

"Oh," she closed her eyes in pain. "Jacob . . . ."

"We'll get to the first truth you had in a minute. You said you knew I thought you were sick. If I ever . . .if I ever treated you like an invalid, I am truly sorry. I know deep down you're sick but I never thought I treated you that way."

"You hovered so much in Peru, after Ezekiel left."

"Oh," he shook his head. "It wasn't because of that. I had . . .that night after Ezekiel left . . . I had horrible nightmares." He took a deep breath. "It doesn't matter the details. All that matters is that they were about you. And Cassandra, I already knew I was fallin' for you. So if I was clingy, it was because of that and not anything to do with your health."

Her arms were around his neck and her face pressed against his shoulder. "I'm sorry, I had no idea. I . . .I thought you . . . .And of course, you wouldn't want to tell me something like that."

"No, it kinda . . .even tellin' ya right now is hard. I'm so sorry, sweetheart."

"It's okay, it's okay. Just let's tell each other things from now on, okay? We can do that now."

He nodded. "And you can tell me things, okay? No more keepin' things, okay?"

"Yeah . . .Jacob, I don't know any more if I'd go through with it. But it's not a date, you know?"

He nodded. "I kinda figured. More like how sick you'd let yourself get? I do understand. I don't . . .I don't know if I agree with it, but then I'm not livin' with what you are."

"It's exactly that. And you didn't need to apologize for making me say it. It's something I planned on telling you when we were ready to be together. It's just Jacob . . . I just need you to support me, no matter what I do."

Jacob was silent for a long time and Cassandra sniffled barely holding back the tears. Then he started speaking softly. "They kept sayin' that Librarians are like tissue. That Librarians die young. Flynn's only been there ten years and he's the longest to serve. You might not even get that option to chose. But . . .none of the other Librarians were like us. "

"No, they weren't." Cassandra wasn't sure where he was going with this.

"Basically what I'm tryin' to say, darlin', is ain't none of us know when our time is comin'. I hope that it's a long long time before I have to let you go. But I will if I have to. And it'll be like today, your hand in mine, okay?"

Cassandra burst into tears and Jacob was confused. What had he said? He pulled her into his arms, "why ya cryin'?"

"Because I love you so much. And that's all I want your hand in mine."

"Oh, hey, okay," he pulled her against his chest, rocking her back and forth. "No more of this, okay? It ain't happening tonight. We're happy, right? Finally together?"

She nodded against his chest, but he continue to hold her until her tears had subsided. He had a feeling she was crying out a lot of emotions, it had been a rocky road since Peru, longer ago if he was honest. From the day they met, they'd been on this path, even though there were times that seemed like it was impossible. But all of that was behind them. Challenges lay ahead, their lives were anything but dull, but they were together now.

Eventually when comfort had turned into cuddling, he kissed the top of head and then made the mistake of looking at the clock on her mantle. He groaned.

"What's wrong?" she asked, lifting her head from where she'd comfortably had it nestled against his chest.

"It's getting late and it's been a long day. I don't want to but we need to rest."

She shook her head, "stay, please."

"Darlin', don't you think it's too early for that?"

"It is. But I just . . . Jacob, I don't want you to go. I kinda . . ." she huffed, not quite sure how to put this, he was the poet, not her. She motioned between them. "It's like we're starting a new life, does that make sense?"

He nodded. He didn't really want to leave. It seemed as if now that they finally were together, the thought of even spending the night apart was unbearable. That was something they were going to have to work out, but tonight. . .tonight he could stay.

"I don't have to get Max until late . . . .Alright. Tell you what, let me go home and get some stuff, okay? Don't really wanna have to do a walk of shame until I have a reason to." He winked at her, which lightened the suddenly heavy mood.

He returned about forty minutes later, with a change of clothes, pajamas and food for breakfast the next morning. She smiled at his thoughtfulness and sent him through to her bathroom to change while she put away the food. She was standing rather awkwardly beside the bed when he came out.

"Hi," he said softly to her.

"Hi, um I tend to favor the right side of the bed. I mean if that's okay. I mean I sometimes end up in the middle or . . . ."

"Cassie . . . it's okay. I tend to go to the left side, so it's perfect, okay? Hey, I know this is weird."

She nodded as he crossed over to her, putting his hands on her waist and leaning forward to press a kiss against her forehead.

"It's just . . .I want you to stay tonight but it's actually been a long time since I shared a bed with anyone. And I feel like maybe this is special and I don't know."

"It is special but it's just the first night, okay? We'll have lots of nights together, God willin'. We're both tired, let's just get into bed, alright?"

She agreed and turned on her bedside lamp while directing him to turn off the overhead light. After some minor awkwardness in arrangements, they were finally curled up together under the covers. They shared a gentle kiss and then Cassandra moved to turn off the lamp, but she was stopped by a touch on her elbow from Jacob.

"What's up?"

"I'm sorry, I should . . .maybe we should talk about it in the morning."

"About what?"

"It's another thing from Oklahoma."

"Okay?"

"Well, Jones was really weirded out by some of the things you said. And he didn't share all of them, but he told me that you said you hated babies? " Jacob looked confused. "Which makes no sense to me because you appear to love children. My child especially, but you still volunteer with the kids in the program."

"Oh," Cassandra was surprised this came up, but she figured discussing this issue right away might be a good one. She sat against the headboard and he followed suit, their shoulders touching. "I do love children. I do. But I hate babies. And I can't quite tell you why. But once they can talk and walk and go to the bathroom by themselves, I'm fine. I just, babies are so . . . . They can't communicate what they want and they cry and throw up and they're so dependent and I just . . . ."

"Okay, I suppose I can see that . . . ."

"You're gonna ask, aren't you? I mean, maybe if I had a child, I'd be able to get past the whole baby thing, knowing that they're gonna turn into someone like Max in a few years. But I think you probably realize that I can't . . .well rather I shouldn't have children."

"Yeah," Jacob said softly. She hadn't looked at him when she was speaking and she hazarded a glance now. He was looking off into the distance. "When Jones was accusing you of being Max's mother, your tumor was the first thing I thought of. "

"Is that going to be an issue?"

This time he did look at her. "I never expected I'd even have the one child I do. And I will admit there was a period when Josie was pregnant that we were both kinda happy, we'd both had shit childhoods and we had all these plans to give our kid the world. And when things were good with Josie, well they were really good and I had thoughts in my head about having a houseful of babies. But when I realized that there would be no happy home . . .and we even thought once about having another one to try to save things but we came to our senses. Anyway . . .I long ago came to terms with Max being an only child, at least from my side. It's okay, sweetheart."

"I'm sorry, Jacob."

"No, don't . . .don't. I love you. And you love my son. We'll be a family, the three of us. All I want is that. I promise. I'm a happy man."

"I do love him. I love both of you. And I like that idea of us being a family. I wouldn't even mind if he does call me Mommy."

Jacob grinned at her and slid back down the headboard, nodding toward the light. She clicked it off and settled into his arms in the dark. She rested her head on his chest, the only sound now their heartbeats and breaths. For a while, his hand idly stroked down her hair and on to her shoulder, but his hand stilled and his breathing and heartbeat indicated he'd fallen asleep. Cassandra thought about rolling over, she'd never been one to sleep in the arms of a lover, usually rolling away after they'd fallen asleep.

But she was so comfortable right there, his one arm still loosely over her, her head resting against his soft tee-shirt, his heartbeat comforting under her ear. She was where she was supposed to be tonight. She and Jacob Stone. He was who he'd always been meant to be. And she was finally living her life instead of going through the motions. The sometimes impossible to get through paths of each of their lives had lead to this moment: the first night of the rest of their lives.

She smiled and pressed a kiss against his chest and let herself fall asleep in his arms.


	20. Epilogue

_One Year Later_

Cassandra and Jacob had indeed found it unbearable to spend time apart and it wasn't long after they got together that she was subletting her apartment and living full time with Jacob and Max. A few months later, when his lease expired, they'd rented a bigger apartment, thinking about buying a house the next year.

Today was Cassandra and Jacob's one year anniversary. He'd originally wanted to take her somewhere romantic via the Back Door. But she'd insisted that they spend the day together as a family. And so two weeks before, he'd begun to put plan B in motion for that day, with Max's help.

Now they were on Plan C because stormy weather had rolled in, ruining their plans for a picnic in the park. But both Max and Cassandra had laughed and decided that a living room campout would be even better.

While Cassandra and Max were having a blast in the living room, making a fort out of blankets, chairs and pillows, Jacob was in the kitchen making dinner.

As he was working, his thoughts kept wandering over the months he and Cassandra had been together. Living together had been a bit awkward at first, but it soon became natural. They'd hit a bit of a rocky patch three months prior when Josie had finally decided to move out to Portland.

It had been weird, they hadn't really wanted to let her in on the whole Library idea but Jacob had decided it was time to tell his ex-wife about who he really was. Josie had taken that better than he'd expected, she'd long suspected that Jacob hadn't exactly been telling her the truth. Cassandra wasn't jealous of Josie . . .exactly. But it had turned out that Cassandra had still harbored a bit of insecurity about his relationship with his son's mother. And he'd realized just how deep into playing mother Cassandra had gotten. It was hard for her to cede some of that role to Max's actual mother.

No amount of talking that out had really completely unbroken Cassandra's heart. Sometimes Jacob wished he could talk Cassandra into a child: via adoption or maybe a surrogate. Perhaps having a child whose mothering she didn't have to share would ease her pain. But she still hated babies and he knew she still had worries about her future, so while he'd brought it up once or twice, he hadn't pushed. He'd just hoped that time and the fact that Max lived with them and not Josie would help. Josie had tried to meet them more than halfway. She'd been kind to Cassandra, she'd enrolled herself in school and had told Jacob that Max was still better living full time with him. Josie still had a long way to go in her own journey and Jacob realized that Max would probably always be with him. Which was just fine for the selfish part of him.

But he wasn't gonna dwell on that. He had plans for today. Talks about how they felt about marriage had gone much more smoothly. He'd come to realize that marriage could go well if you were marrying the right person for the right reasons. And not long ago Cassandra had told him a similar thing. Which had been exactly why he'd originally planned an evening for just the two of them in some romantic city.

But then as he brought dinner out to the fort where his girl and his son were waiting, he'd realized that Plan B was even better. This was the life that they were going to lead: adventure, romance and an exuberant little boy.

Dinner went off with only the most minor of messes to the carpet, Cassandra's skirt and Max's shirt. Cassandra had managed to clean them both up without leaving a stain, though they'd have to do some laundry later. Then Jacob asked Max to help him talk the dishes back into the kitchen and help make dessert.

"I can take some stuff too," Cassandra said, beginning to gather things up.

"No, we have men business!" Max exclaimed and Jacob held his breath, afraid the whole thing was blown.

But Cassandra just laughed and looked over at Jacob, who shrugged and pretended to look puzzled. She seemed to buy that. He leaned over and kissed her. "We got this, you just hold down the fort, you know literally."

She giggled and the Stones headed to the kitchen.

"Did I mess up, Daddy?" Max asked, his little face worried.

"Nah, cowboy, we covered it up."

"She's gonna say yes, right Daddy?"

"I sure hope so." Jacob walked over to the cabinet where hidden behind the box of graham crackers for their microwave s'mores was a ring box. He'd bought Josie a ring, pretty much the day before they'd gotten married. But for Cassandra, he'd looked for something a little more meaningful. Jess had given him a ring that had in turn belonged to their grandmother and mother. It might have even been their great-grandmother's, they weren't sure. He'd had it reset in a more modern, yet still vintage looking style for Cassandra, the antique yellow diamond holding the place of honor. He'd been inspired by the design on the doors and arches of the Library and had talked a jeweler through what he'd wanted it to look like. It was perfectly Cassandra.

"Alright, you remember what to say?" Jacob asked as he took the s'mores out of the microwave. He handed the ring box to his son. "Careful with that, make sure she doesn't see it yet."

Max nodded. "I've got it, Daddy."

"Alright, come on Team Stone."

They slipped back into the fort and Cassandra reached for a s'more but Jacob stopped her.

"Before we have dessert, we have something we wanna say to you."

Cassandra smiled. "Okay."

Jacob took her hand and he could hear her intake of breath. He was pretty sure she'd caught on now. "Cassandra . . . ." Jacob had been so worried about Max forgetting what he was going to say as simple as it was, that he'd forgotten his own speech. It had been romantic and heartfelt and damned if he could remember a word of it. Not when faced with those blue eyes filling up with happiness and love staring at him. "I . . .I love you. And . . . ."

Thank God for his bright little son. Max took out the box and pushed it between them, his lack of grace forgotten with him remembering his words. "Andra, will you marry us?"

Jacob laughed even as Cassandra burst into a combination of happy tears and laughter .

Max looked a little confused, not realizing Cassandra's reaction was an affirmative like his father had. "Andra?"

"Yes, sweetheart, yes. Oh yes!"

"I had this whole thing," Jacob said as he opened the box for Cassandra to examine. "And I forgot every single line. I wanted this to be perfect . . . ."

"It is! It was. Oh gosh, I love you so much and is that . . ." she took the ring out of the box and Jacob helped slide it on her finger. "Is that the Library?"

He nodded. "Yeah, Jessie gave me an old ring that belonged to my mother and her mother, and maybe even my great-grandmother. And I thought it would look good reset into something that looked like the Library."

"It's beautiful," she reached over and kissed him until Max made noises behind them. And then she reached over and kissed Max's cheek as he squirmed. "I love it. And I love you both."

"Can we eat the s'mores now?" Max asked.

Laughing, both adults agreed. Much later, a sleepy Max had been allowed to settle in his sleeping bag in the fort. Cassandra took her turn kissing him good night.

"I love you, Mommy Andra."

Cassandra blinked back the tears. "I love you too, Max."

Much later, in the afterglow of a much more adult celebration of their engagement, Cassandra asked softly, "are you okay that your plans didn't go right? Now I know why you wanted us to go away somewhere for our anniversary."

He shook his head, pressed a kiss against her forehead. "I'm disappointed I forgot the speech that I worked on for two weeks. But it's better this way. This was us. Our lives are full of adventure, we don't need artificial romance, we create plenty ourselves. It was perfect . . .at least I hope so."

"It was, absolutely perfect. So how do we top this for a wedding?"

"Well, darlin', we ain't getting married in no blanket fort."

And Cassandra laughed so hard that Jacob had to silence her with kisses. Which lead to another celebration.

Their lives were not normal, adventure and danger lay ahead. But they were together. And their future was going to be a happy one.

The End


End file.
